Why Dad?

On our way home from school I decided to break the news to Ethan. He had only one question, "Why Dad?" Listening to all the talk about Miguel Cabrera and thinking about my own family's history with alcohol and drug abuse, I am realizing that all of us are asking the same question. We feel a lot like this: You know what though? We don't want to hear the answer. Why would a man who has a great wife sleep around? Why would a person with a family who loved him turn to drink? Why would a kid with everything in front of her slice up her arms? Why does a kid with a great future waste it away sitting on a couch getting high? We are constantly left with the question, "Why Dad?" The answer, while simple, is profound. The answer, while simple, sounds weak coming off the tongue. The answer, while simple, is not what we want to admit to. The answer is that the world is broken. Each of us are broken. There is a cloud of stink that sticks to us and we can't shake it. Some of us can go about hiding it really well, for a while. Some of us can even hide it for our whole lives, but deep down we know it's there. What bothers most of us is that we know, "...but by the grace of God go I". What keeps any of us from doing these things? What keeps us from living out our brokenness in such a way that leaves us alone in a jail cell? It seems like there are two are things. The first is that there is someone in our lives who is willing to fight for us. They make it clear that they are with us and for us no matter what. For me, it was my mother. I remember when my mom and dad were divorced and her telling us, "You will not become 'those' kids. Your Dad and I love you and we expect that you will become successful, hardworking, good men. This divorce is not an excuse for anything." She backed it up. Over and over. The second is that there comes a point where individuals take responsibility for their own lives. There was a time, for me it was college, that each of us have to decide how we are going to live and whether or not we will take full responsibility for our actions. For those of us don't get to that place we become like this: So, how did I answer the question, "Why Dad?" I told Ethan that we live in a broken world that is filled with broken people. Sometimes this brokenness gets the better of them and they do things they don't want to do. That's why we have each other and that's why we need each other. Then I told him we need to pray for everyone we know who's broken and hurting because God really does care. That's why Jesus came here and that's why Jesus died and rose again. Because God, really does care. How would you answer?

Dear Miguel

Dear Miguel, I don't know you. I have not ever met you. I have watched you play baseball every summer since your arrival in Detroit a few years ago. You may be the best baseball player I have ever seen. Every night before I go to bed I see your life sized poster hanging on Ethan's, my nine year old son, bedroom door. You are his favorite player. He's never met you either. Ethan and I cheer for you. We feel like we know you because you are in our home nearly every night from April through September (hopefully October too). Ethan wants to be a baseball player when he grows up and you are one of his heroes. Today as I drove into work I heard on the radio about your DUI. My heart broke and my eyes filled with tears. I thought this is stupid, I don't even know him. My heart is broken because I know that Ethan when he watches Sportscenter tonight or tomorrow will find out too. So, I know that he and I will have to talk about it. I know that he will experience heartbreak. I know he will cry. I know I will hold him. I can't imagine what it's like to be you. The pressure you must feel everyday has to be overwhelming. To live every single day in a bubble because you play a boy's game better than anyone else has to be one of the most difficult things there is. I don't want to pretend to understand. Because I don't. I do want to say this, I am praying for you and Ethan will be too. Whether you know it or not you're part of our family. You're one of us, even though we've never met you. When you hurt, we hurt. Miguel, I hope that you will set aside baseball for a while and get the help you need. I hope that some day soon Ethan and I will be able to watch you play baseball again. We will be praying and asking that God will heal your brokenness and that he will break the addiction to alcohol. My hope is that you will realize that you cannot do this on your own. My hope is that you will realize that you are not invincible and that you need other people to come alongside you and care for you. Let them help. I also hope that you will realize that there is great grace, mercy, and community available to you in relationship with Jesus if you will repent and seek the forgiveness he offers. Ethan and I will be praying and waiting. Sincerely, Ethan's Dad

Crisis, Cowardice, Courage

Media_httpdanielmrose_cgelb
In Allender's matrix the first challenge is that of crisis.  What do you do when the world comes crashing down around you? Thankfully I have not faced any huge crises in my time as a leader.  I have experienced personal ones within the context of my family but not so much in the context of ministry.  This is God's grace.  

Read the rest of this post »