Moms and sons have a special kind of dynamic. I know that my mom and I can communicate with a look. We have inside jokes and so much shared history that sometimes we don’t even need to say anything.

As I watch my own son and my wife, the same dynamic exists. They have an uncanny ability to simply understand one another. It’s almost like they can read one another’s minds at times.

Of course, there’s also the reality that sons are male and we often fail miserably at reading our mom’s minds. But, just like that special #girldad bond there is a #boymom bond that is unique too.

I suppose, it should come as no surprise that Jesus' first miracle comes as a result of a conversation with his mom. Perhaps the surprise is that it happened at a party and was him making some really good wine.

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother and brothers and his disciples. There they stayed for a few days. John 2:1-12

Every time I read this story it makes me smile. I smile because the interaction between Jesus and his mom is just so normal.

She walks up and lets him know about a problem at the wedding, they are out of wine. His response is gold, “Why do you involve me?” The Greek phrase here is an idiom that is something like, “What does this have to do with your or with me?” I love the way that Eugene Peterson translates this in The Message, “Is that any of our business, Mother—yours or mine?”

But it gets even more humorous, she tells the servants to do whatever he tells them. She just ignores the fact that he says it’s not their issue.

How does Jesus respond?

Well, he does what she wants.

Moms and sons, there’s just something different about their relationship. Can you almost imagine Jesus rolling his eyes? I can. Because, well, like Jesus, I am an oldest son with a strong mom and I know that I better do what she wants because it will go much better for me.

As entertaining as this interaction is it belies something deeper.

The question of why? Why does Jesus do this miracle? Why is Mary worried about this? Why does she expect him to fix it?

Weddings in Judea in the first century were a big deal. The celebration would often last up to a full week and the bill of the party was to be covered by the groom. Most scholars believe that this wedding was of a close relative of Jesus' which is why he was invited to attend with his disciples and Mary. Some even think that Mary may have been part of the group of family members that helped with organizing and catering the party. This would explain why she was even aware that the wine had run out.

All of this is fine and dandy, but still why was this a big deal? I mean, if the wine runs out, who cares?

The culture of Jesus' day was based in honor and shame. To run out of something during a wedding celebration would have brought deep social shame to the groom. In some cases, the bride’s family might even sue the groom for failing to properly provide for the wedding feast. This feast was the first step in displaying that he was going to be able to provide for her and their future family.

To run short on wine would have likely put the groom in a position where he would be socially sidelined for years to come in a state of deep shame.

Mary’s concern was likely for this not to happen.

Jesus, knowing his mom and her empathy and her concern for those on the edges of society (check out Luke 1:46-55), protected the groom from this shame. Even though it “was not his time.” He protected this groom from public shame and ridicule.

Interestingly, the only people who knew what happened were apparently Jesus, Mary, and the servants. The groom never knew how his reputation was protected by Jesus. The groom simply celebrated with his bride.

I think we ought not to miss that Jesus' first recorded miracle was to protect someone from public shame without the person even knowing.

This runs so counter to how so many of us in the Christian subculture seem to think things are supposed to work. At least, that’s what it appears on social media.

In my conversations with people who are outside the Christian subculture they are of the belief that Christians primarily desire to shame people and then convert them. Where do they get this perception? From social media and from personal interactions with Christians on social media.

Jesus was about protecting people from shame and releasing them from shame (more on that in future conversations). Too many of us have come to believe that shame must come first so that grace might abound. That is not how grace works. Grace is abundant and ever present. Grace is the context within which we are able to work through our shame.

I have never met a person who doesn’t experience shame on some level. What they need from me is grace. They need to know that they are loved that grace and mercy are available to them. When they do, shame is relieved life change can occur.

Does this mean that we are to set aside truth? Does this mean that we are to simply ignore bad behavior? By no means! What Jesus' example here in this story shows us is that we are to have the releasing from shame as our goal. If that’s the goal, how do we work backwards from there to get where we want to be?

Public mockery or private shaming get us nowhere. When we heap shame on others it pushes them further to the edges and further away from the community of faith. No, we create a culture of grace and mercy to allow for people to have space to work out the issues causing their shame. This work, like Jesus' creating the wine, is often done in the quiet and behind the scenes. What people see and experience is grace and mercy and love. What they don’t see is the hard work being done to create such a space, and that is the very reason why they experience grace, mercy, and love.

I hope that I can be someone who in some sense is turning water into wine.