“You should have known better.”

Have you ever heard that before? Man, I feel like I have heard it a ton. Perhaps it is the result of being the oldest of three brothers. Or maybe it’s because I present myself as someone who knows all the things and is pretty confident. Whatever the reason, “You should have known better.” is a phrase that I have heard often.

It’s one of those phrases that the voice inside my head uses whenever I perceive that I have failed in some way. “I should have known better.”

It’s become something that I now own.

However, I am learning that it is an idea that I can let go of. The way to relinquish it is to admit that I actually don’t know everything. It is the willingness to lay down any sense of self-protectionist perfectionism (say that ten times fast!). The beauty of admitting that I do not know everything, to lay aside my overwhelming intellectual and spiritual arrogance, frees me from the pressure of the “should have known.”

In this conversation that Jesus with one a very religious person, a Pharisee, I think what we see is Jesus challenging him to consider laying aside his arrogance and recognize in humility that he might not know as much as he thinks he does.

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

“How can this be?” Nicodemus asked.

“You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven —the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.” John 3:1-15

In John’s gospel we see Jesus often talking about “earthly things” that often have spiritual realities behind them. We’ve just seen this very thing happen in Jesus' conversation with the Temple authorities. They think he’s talking about a building that will be torn down and be rebuilt in three days, but he’s talking about himself. Here, with Nicodemus, we get this idea of being “born again,” where Jesus does the exact same thing. He adds a spiritual layer to the idea of being born.

The Pharisees were the evangelicals of their day. They took their faith seriously, they were at odds with the Roman Empire and other more secularized Jews, and they knew their holy Scriptures. Nicodemus was likely no spiritual slouch. We are told that he was member of the council which means he was a leader in the community. He came to Jesus under the cover of night and the speculation is that he did this to protect his reputation because Jesus was getting the reputation of being a bit of a rabble rouser.

He acknowledges that Jesus was a teacher sent from God. There is no question in Nicodemus' mind that Jesus is on par with the prophets from the past. He could see in Jesus' public ministry the divine fingerprints. It was clear to Nicodemus that Jesus had a divine mandate to carry out his ministry.

What does Jesus do? He makes an enigmatic statement regarding the kingdom of God and being born again.

Every time I read this interaction I am always left scratching my head. This seems like such an out of pocket response to what it is that Nicodemus has just said. So, my hunch is that Nicodemus in requesting the meeting with Jesus had let him what he wanted to discuss, namely, the kingdom of God. The way John tells this story, Jesus just gets right down to brass tacks. Kind of a, “Let’s not waste time with idle chit chat and the mutual admiration society stuff. Let’s get down to it.”

I think that Nicodemus is rightly confused by what Jesus tells him. You see, he doesn’t have a couple thousand years of Christian history and thought that he is building on. He’s a guy trying to faithfully walk with God and sees in Jesus someone who can help him grow in his faith. His wondering how that’s even possible is, to me, a totally respectable question.

Jesus gives him a fuller explanation and once again Nicodemus responds with, “How can this be?”

It is in this moment that Jesus basically says, “Homie, you should know better.” It’s a scathing response from Jesus, “You are Israel’s teacher, and do you not understand these things?”

I think Jesus is trying to break Nicodemus out his small minded thinking about faith. The Pharisees were deeply concerned with the purely practical. Jesus wants to press him beyond that immediacy to the transcendent truth of the nature of what he was bringing about.

I think Jesus was calling him to deconstruct his existing faith. This breaking down was going to result in Nicodemus having a spiritual experience such that he would feel like his born again.

This teacher of Israel should have known better. But, he didn’t. He needed to embrace in humility his lack of understanding. If he would, then his life would change. He would be born again. Jesus' challenge of “you should know better,” only comes after Nicodemus unwillingness to really engage with what Jesus told him. “How can this be?” was a question about the need to take a new look at his faith and he it pointed out a lack of willingness.

As I ponder again this story, I think I would be just like Nicodemus. To radically question my deeply held beliefs is scary. It’s really uncomfortable to ask hard questions because there might not be answers. For much of my life I have understood my faith to be like a wall of bricks and if you take out the wrong brick it will fall apart. I am growing to understand my faith as being more like a trampoline. I can take out a spring here or there and evaluate it and the trampoline continues to work. I am finding that many of the springs go right back in. But, some of them get replaced and others are no longer needed.

I resonate deeply with Nicodemus. Wrestling with our faith is not easy. Yet, when we do, we emerge with new life.