The following conversation that Jesus has with a man who was an “invalid” for 38 years leaves me scratching my head. I think this is partially because it is a setup for the next conversation in the story. But, it is also difficult because in many ways, it just does not go as I expect it to.

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Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. [ ] One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’”

So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well. John 5:1-15, NIV

Do you see what I mean? From start to finish, it is a weird interaction.

Jesus shows up to this pool of Bethesda where there were a number of people with a variety of ailments. He doesn’t heal all of them. No, he finds out about this man who was an “invalid” (we are not sure what that exactly meant, but it might have been some sort of leg paralysis) and he asks, “Do you want to be healed?”

I would expect a response like, “Yes!” Instead, we get what amounts to a snarky reply. He basically was saying something like, “What are you? Thick? Of course. Why else would I be here, even though I can’t possibly get to the pool?”

This man, in many ways, is not at all what I would expect when I think about someone who is being offered healing from an infirmity of 38 years.

Do you notice in his response to Jesus' healing the blame-shifting? “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” He is saying he probably could have been healed already, but nobody would help him, and other people jump the line in front of him. He sees himself a victim in this whole situation.

Then, when he is engaged by the Pharisees for breaking the rules of the Sabbath, he once again blame-shifts, “The man who made me well told me to carry my mat!”

Finally, he is a tattle-tale after Jesus tells him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man runs off and tells the Jewish leaders who it was that told him to carry the mat.

Why would Jesus choose to heal such a man as this? A man who is apparently ungrateful and has some sort of a victim mindset. This man does not come off looking like someone, out of so many others, that I would have likely chosen to heal.

What was Jesus thinking?

Oh.

Wait.

Aren’t we all, in some way, this man?

Do I deserve grace? No. Am I worthy of grace? No.

The more I look at this man, the more I see myself. Is not this man an archetype of the shadow in all of us? I know it’s not really popular these days to acknowledge the fact that we have a shadow self, that we might possibly have sinned in some way in our lives. I know I have. Seeing Jesus pick this undeserving prick of a man out from all the others to heal is a stark reminder that divine grace is never earned and is never deserved. This divine grace is rooted in God’s lovingkindness and is freely bestowed.

This interaction points to the reality that God’s grace is bigger and broader and more encompassing than I could have ever imagined.

It also is a reminder that grace, while unconditional and freely given, is the key to us becoming more than just our shadows. In Jesus' admonition to the man, he is calling him to something more. He is calling him to move beyond his victimhood and into this new life of grace.

In the words of U2, “grace is an idea that changes the world.”