For a long time, I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend: we seem to be losing the ability to truly talk with one another. While the internet allows us to talk to, or more accurately at, people constantly, what about genuine dialogue?

I’m so grateful for the Tuesday night gathering I host, Tap Room Tuesday. It’s a space where I believe we often talk with one another. Yet, even there, meaningful dialogue is becoming increasingly challenging.

Why is this happening?

Why are we losing the ability to discuss meaningful topics with one another?

Reflecting on many Tuesday night discussions and online conversations I’ve participated in, a common thread emerges: it’s as if participants can’t even agree on a shared reality.

“Well, that’s what your source might say. I don’t think that’s true.”

This dismissive line could be a response to almost anything.

The term “alternative facts,” which began as a seemingly ridiculous statement by a press secretary in 2016, has unfortunately become a prevailing mindset.

Everyone seems to possess their own set of “alternative facts.” Consequently, meaningful conversation becomes nearly impossible when we can’t even agree on the basic facts of a situation. This challenge intensifies when discussing topics like religion, philosophy, politics, and morality.

Not long ago, there were foundational ways of understanding the world that could ground and connect most conversations, even across the ideological spectrum. However, that’s often no longer the case. The norm seems to be people talking past one another, or engaging in unproductive games where one side asks incessant, almost childish “why?” questions.

A few years ago, I read Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind. It was important then, and I believe it’s even more crucial now. In my opinion, this book gets to the heart of why our conversations and dialogues are currently so challenging.

So, over the next few weeks, I’ll be writing about the various concepts Haidt presents and exploring their connections to our current communication struggles. I hope this will be helpful for you, and I know it will certainly help me process these ideas further.