Daniel Rose: The Pastor Next Door

The fuel for spiritual growth

For the last few years I have had the privilege to help coach a few baseball teams. It has been an amazing experience of learning the game and learning how to help young men develop into the best baseball player that they can be. When a player is coachable, it is amazing to see how they grow and change over the course of the season. When a player is self-motivated, the growth is exponential.

While the joys are incalculable, the hardest part is having to tell parents the truth about the ability of their son. Every parent that pays the money to play high level travel sports believes that their son is the best player on the team. Often, this is because on their house or rec teams they were. They may even have been the best player in their league. Yet, when they join a high level team, every kid was the best somewhere.

There comes a point in the life of a competitive athlete that the “equal play for pay” comes to an end. This is typically around the age of 15 or 16. In baseball, the hardest conversation that I’ve experienced is when it becomes apparent that a player is no longer a “two way” player. Often this means that someone has become a pitcher only or is a player that will more times than not be DH’ed for. The truth is that at some point different aspects of the game bypass certain individuals. It’s hard to hear and especially for parents of players who become pitchers, it’s painful.

Yet, if these young men who have tremendous talent as pitchers would embrace this identity, the sky is the limit. If they and their parents would hear the truth and develop their exceptional skill set they would experience so much more joy and success.

Truth is hard to hear.Truth is even harder to accept.

None of us like to hear truth. None of us. I don’t. You don’t. Your neighbor doesn’t. But, the simple fact remains if we do not hear and embrace truth then we will not be able to grow and change.

If grace is foundational to growth and time is the key to growth, then truth is the fuel for growth.

For most of my life I have struggled with maintaining a healthy weight. I recently began going to the doctor because I realized that I need to. Being over 40 and overweight the need for medical oversight is pretty important, particularly because I’d like to live long enough to be a grandfather. There’s nothing that prepares for you the hard truth of medicine. My doctor is kind and has a great bedside manner. He is approachable, funny, and yet shoots it straight. When I left after my first appointment I was reading over my paperwork and I saw the words, “morbidly obese.” That is truth. That is a truth that I don’t want to hear, but if I’m going to ever get to a place of physical health I have to hear that truth and embrace it.

When we consider our spiritual lives, or any aspect of our lives, we must be willing to hear truth. Truth provides the fuel for our growth and change. It is often what triggers kairos moments for us to help take next steps.

My friend Todd refers to spiritual truth as the “Waller 2x4.”

That’s how truth often works, it seems to hit us blindside like a 2x4 and as we stare at ourselves we can’t help but think, how did I miss this before?

Over the last few weeks life has been very heavy for my family. We have been walking through some tough life stuff. Nothing that’s out of the ordinary for the course of a life, but it’s been hard nonetheless. I had to hear some truth from my wife and I responded in the moment, oh so well (please hear the sarcasm). A little while later the truth of the matter and the reality of the situation landed like an atomic in my soul. I sought forgiveness and took some time to take some stock of what was going on in me. This truth has helped me recognize some besetting issues that I need to continually address.

I thought that I had a better handle on them, but it turns out that I did not.

“Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is.” — C.S. Lewis

What sort of man am I? I am one that is still imperfect. One that has much room to grow. When I can’t control everything in my life, I smolder and get frustrated easily. The time between being an ass and realization of being an ass is shrinking. That gap is shrinking because the time it takes for me to embrace truth is shrinking.

My friends, truth is the fuel for growth. We must be willing to speak to one another in the context of grace and time. We must be willing to hear it from one another believing the best that those around us want to help us grow.

Originally published at https://danielmrose.com on December 10, 2019.

In this week’s episode I discuss the role of grace in spiritual practice.

The key to spiritual growth

I am the oldest of three sons and I check just about every box on the “oldest child” list. Chief among them is that if I don’t think I can do something perfect right away I usually won’t even make the attempt. Do you know what’s odd about that? I love to learn. There’s something magical in learning something new. What I am coming to realize though is that when I say learn what I mean is gaining new information.

These two things are not equivalent.

In my experience, within my tribe of Christianity, spiritual growth is directly related to the receipt and comprehension of information. If you know this or understand that then you are becoming more spiritually mature. People who have been to bible college or seminary are afforded some sort of platform in the hierarchy of spiritual maturity simply because they have ingested more information.

The great thing about information is that it doesn’t take much time. We can read a book over a few days and have the information in our brains. One can got to a conference or seminar and learn all kinds of new information in a very short time. Many of us love podcasts and as a result are over-filled with information.

For too long now this equating spiritual maturity with information has undermined true spiritual growth and discipleship.

Over lunch the other day a friend and I were talking about the discipleship and spiritual practice. We discussed how much of “discipleship” is information transfer through “one one ones” or small groups. Yet, the transfer of information is not the point of the discipleship we see in the life of Jesus.

The goal of discipleship we see from Jesus is imitation. That is, to become, as much as it depends on us, like Jesus.

Jesus didn’t hold classes or seminars with his disciples. He lived life with them. They spent time together in one another’s homes and traveling the highways and by-ways of Palestine.

The disciples were able to witness Jesus living life and responding to all the mundane and routine things of life. They were also up close and personal with him in the big moments and the struggles. Being so close and spending so much time allowed them to fashion their lives after Jesus. When he finally left them they spent the rest of their lives trying to imitate him and inviting others to imitate them as they imitated Christ.

Inherent in this process is something that someone like me doesn’t like. What is it you ask? Time.

Time is one of the most important factors in the life of the person who wants to become like Christ. There is nothing that can replace it. It takes time for us to experience the fullness of life. Each moment, each hour, each day, each week, each month, each year, brings us into a deeper understanding of the way of Christ.

We can’t rush the clock or the calendar. What we must learn to do is to be present in the very moment we are in. Every single moment is an opportunity for us to be more like Christ. I think this is what Paul meant when he wrote that we should take each thought captive. When we learn to be present in each moment these moments string together to hours, days, weeks, months, and years. What we find is that over time we have become more like Christ.

It takes time to become.

There are no overnight sensations in the arts or sports. All of those who have been labeled as such put in years of work for that one moment of greatness.

For those of who want to be like Christ no amount of information gain will offset our need for time.

Time to learn to love. Time to learn to forgive. Time to learn kindness. Time to learn humility. Time to learn gentleness. Time to learn patience. Time to learn contentment. Time to learn how to speak truth. Time to learn to follow Christ.

The thing about time is that it’s the one thing we absolutely need and it’s something that we absolutely can’t control.

We can’t hurry spiritual maturity and growth. We won’t get it perfect right away. There will be mistakes and we will fail at being like Christ. Thankfully, there’s grace.

Originally published at https://danielmrose.com on November 26, 2019.

A foundational tool for spiritual growth.

What if I told you that the most significant thing that I have learned about consistently growing in my faith is something as simple as a circle?

As I was in the process of launching the Acts 13 Network, I received some training by an organization called, 3DM. Their focus is teaching Christians to be people who multiply their lives in others. This is often called, “discipleship.”

This was not a new concept for me. I had spent ten years on staff with a parachurch organization whose focus was the same. I had discipled scores of young men over the years. I had a plan to help others take steps of faith. Yet, I don’t think that I ever gave them a clear and easy tool to help them simply grow in their faith every single day.

There are lots of things that many Christians talk about as critical to your personal growth. They include things like prayer, bible study, and worship. In the particular sub-culture of Christianity that I grew up spiritually in these were combined in something called a “quiet time.” The quiet time was the cornerstone to Christian growth. When I was asked by someone how I was doing in my faith my response was always filtered through the state of my quiet times.

Do you want to know something interesting? The times of greatest growth in my life have been during seasons when I wasn’t having “quiet times.”

These times of great growth were times when I have intentionally engaged in a practice I have come to refer to as the “circle life.”

The circle is a concept that I learned in my training with 3DM. It is a tool that describes a method to keep us moving forward in our faith. This tool helps us to identify the personal, the communal, and the significance of our interactions with the divine. It’s a tool for mindfulness that relentlessly points us toward change and growth.

The circle is comprised of a kairos moment, repentance, and belief.

Kairos

In the Greek language there are two words for time. The first and most common is chronos. This is where we get our word, “chronology.” It refers to the moment by moment, the constant tick-tock of the clock. You could call it “ordinary” time.

The other word, “kairos,” points us to those moments when it seems like time stops. There is an in-breaking something outside of our normal experience. This could be as simple as being overcome by the sunset or the rainbow in a puddle that catches our eye. It could be as significant as the moment you fall in love. Kairos moments are those moments when we interact with the divine. They don’t need to be major earth shattering moments, they can be small and seem insignificant.

As we try to live the circle life, we are trying to grab hold of each kairos moment that we experience every single day. We want to acknowledge, engage with, and embrace these moments for what they are. As we do, they plunge us into the process of spiritual growth and away from stagnation.

Repentance

After we recognize the kairos moment, we wade into the waters of repentance. Many of us hear this word and it holds for us a negative connotation. Too often we think of repentance only in conjunction with some sort of failure. Yet, the word simply means to change direction 180 degrees. We can repent from something good to something better.

Repentance is nothing more than changing. When we engage with the kairos moments of our lives we either enter in with them and the process of change or we let them go and continue moving forward as though nothing happened. When we practice the latter, stagnation of our spiritual lives is the result. If we can embrace the call to repentance inherent in the kairos moment we will continue the process of spiritual growth.

The process of repentance is comprised of observation, reflection, and discussion. Observation is that process of identifying and grasping hold of the kairos moment. It’s that moment where we say, “AH! This is that!”

In reflection we take the kairos and dwell on it, we meditate on it. We treat it like a prism and turn it around in the light trying to witness all the beauty and nuance of the light refracting through it.

In discussion we bring the moment to our trusted community. We put it on the table and wrestle through it together. In community we talk with one another and process together. Often this looks like our community asking probing questions to help us turn the moment around and catch different glimpses than we have before.

Belief

The final turn around the circle is encapsulated in the concept of belief. This points us toward our response to repentance. Change, necessarily means that we must act differently than we did before. Almost always, change brings uncertainty with it. It is uncomfortable and demands us to step out in faith.

The belief side of the circle follows a similar rhythm as the repentance side. Instead of beginning in the individual it continues the engagement of the community in what we call “planning.” Our community helps us create a specific plan for change. In light of the change that comes from engaging with the kairos moment, we must answer the question, “What do I do now?” in a specific way. When we try to deal with this question on our own we too often leave it open and general. Our community will help get specific.

After we create a plan, we must put accountability in place with our community. How will we allow ourselves to be held accountable to the plan we have developed?

Finally, we move to the individual, and that is the “act” stage. Belief that is not accompanied by action is not really belief. As we move out in action the circle is completed and we move towards our next kairos moment.

Time

There is no way to hurry or rush the process to get to the next kairos moment. We can’t control when the kairos moment comes, all we can do is be ready to grab hold of it when it does. There is no recipe that brings about these moments. It is simply a process that we continue to engage in over and over again.

Over the years this process has helped me to avoid stagnation in my spiritual life. It also brings great meaning and purpose to everything that I do. Within every interaction, every book, every moment there is a possibility of kairos. This possibility creates a sense of wonder, awe, and intrigue in all of life.

The circle illustration and the concepts written about here can be found in more depth in Mike Breen’s book, Building a Discipling Culture.

Originally published at https://danielmrose.com on November 21, 2019.

Introduction to Spiritual Practice

C.S. Lewis wrote, “Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is.” Dan dives in and asks how do we prepare ourselves for being taken off guard? How do we become like Jesus and not just act like Jesus?

The Foundation of Spiritual Practice

When we start talking about spiritual practice, spiritual growth, and the like some folks begin to sweat. They think that this necessarily means that there is something we are “adding” to our salvation. Some folks have a deep and abiding worry that somehow talk about spiritual practice necessarily leads to a works based Christianity.

The reality is that the opposite is true.

To truly embrace spiritual practice we must start at the beginning. The beginning is one abiding truth:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. — Ephesians 2:8–10

Grace is the foundation and the fundamental reality of the Christian life. This grace is a radical grace rooted in God’s abounding love and enduring faithfulness to his promises.

As we enter into spiritual practice we have to understand that at no time during our practice do we have to worry about God being disappointed in us. Practice is the place of failure. Practice is where we try and try again to grow, to get better, to be more like Christ.

Grace calls us to a place of radical action because we no longer to fear or worry about finding acceptance with God or anyone else.

Grace is radical, free, no strings attached.

Grace makes all things beautiful.

Grace cries out, “Go for it! Try! You can do it, I have you!”

Grace exclaims, “Fear not!”

Because of this overwhelming and extravagant grace we please God with nothing more than our simple faith. Our willingness to trust God is ultimately what pleases God. Think about that reality for just a moment. Our faith, imperfect, small, weak, is what brings God joy. This is grace. This is what is meant by Jesus saying that his burden is light. Yes, we are called to pick up our cross daily, but when we do it in faith it is lighter.

Let’s be clear, grace does not make things easy. There is nothing easy about practice or disciplining ourselves to take up our crosses daily. Grace changes the perspective, it changes the paradigm. This practice ceases to be work and becomes joy.

This is how grace makes “beauty out of ugly things,” as Bono says.

As we step into these attempts at spiritual practice, we will fail as we try. That’s OK. There is grace. The attempt is what matters.

Trusting that in the practice we will meet God and be changed, that’s everything.

Originally published at https://danielmrose.com on November 13, 2019.

An Introduction to Spiritual Practice

“Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is.” — C.S. Lewis

Do you find that quote to be relatively true? I do.

Actually, I not only find it to be true, it cuts me deep. As I think about that line it has me wondering, “How can I become the kind of person that does well when he’s taken of guard?”

The Christian is meant to be like Jesus. Our lives are supposed to look like his. We are to be an honorable, kind, loving, self-sacrificial kind of people. Those who claim to follow Christ are to live lives that transcend the average. The word “christian” means, “Little Christ.” This designation is much more than just the religion that we embrace. It is to go beyond systems of dogma and belief and theology. To be designated as “Christian,” is to designate oneself as a person who is intentionally seeking to love God with all of who they are, love their neighbor as oneself, and love their enemy.

“Christian” is no small task. It’s not a calling to escapism or eternal insurance for the “age to come.” It is an identity that shapes all of life in every minute of everyday. It is a commitment to take up one’s cross daily and follow Christ to the place self-sacrifice and love that brings grace, mercy, justice, redemption, and reconciling to all things.

If you’re anything like me, you’re left with one simple question, “How?”

Dallas Willard in his marvelous little book, The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives, illustrates the “how” question by talking about a child and their sports hero. Indulge me for a moment as I share the same illustration.

When I was younger I played hockey. I loved the game. It was fast, fun, and exciting. I watched hockey as much as I could on TV. I read about in the library. Newspapers and Sports Illustrateds would be shredded as I cut out pictures and articles about games and players. My favorite player was Ray Bourque. I wore his number and tried to emulate his style of play as best I could. When we hit the ponds near our home I would always “be” Bourque. This men was a Boston Bruins legend and would eventually win a Stanley Cup with the Colorado Avalanche.

I stopped playing hockey during my 8th grade year.

Even though I emulated Bourque’s style, I never became Ray Bourque. Why? What was the difference? 1000s of hours of practice, drive, commitment, and natural ability. But, mostly the practice.

During games I could pretend to be Bourque. I could mimic his skating style and wear his number. But I never put in the behind the scenes work to become a great hockey player.

We as Christians can pretend to be like Jesus in many settings. We can act like Jesus without ever becoming like Jesus.

This is where that Lewis quote hits home. When we are taken off our guard we won’t act. We will simply be. Who we truly are is exposed. This when we are in the game, so to speak.

The question remains, how do we become like Jesus? What does it look like to practice in our spiritual lives so that when it comes time for the game we are ready?

In my life, I have found that pursuing a personal practice of certain spiritual disciplines has helped me tremendously. In those moments where I have failed during the “game,” I can almost always trace it back to a season of neglecting my practice.

Over the next few posts I am going to share some of the “how” for our spiritual growth and development. Hopefully at the end you will be able to craft your personal spiritual practice.

Originally published at https://danielmrose.com on November 8, 2019.

Dan wraps up his discussion on Romans in Romans 8:18-30. He talks about the reality that we can experience glory now by becoming more like Jesus. When we #LoveWell, it’s a little taste of heaven.

Dan spends some time unpacking Romans 8:1-17 and its connection to a Romans 12:3-8.

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To take seasons of quiet and silence are important.

Simply, observe the world around you. Try to set aside your ego and be present.

This is hard.

Really hard.

Over the last week or so, I have been trying to do this. What’s been beautiful about it is that I am seeing more of my tribe and what it is that is broke. I am seeing other tribes and their beauty. I am noticing my neighbor and the love I have for them.

In this too, I’m seeing my own selfishness, greed, and unloving actions.

I am also becoming aware of an inner rage that needs to be dealt with.

The ugly isn’t everything though, I’m seeing in myself some growth toward empathy, compassion, and the ability to let things go.

In the silence, I’m coming to grips with the absolute fact that Growth = Grace + Truth + Time.

The “Time” piece is the hardest. I want growth completed yesterday. I don’t want to wait or be patient. I am reminded that time needs to be given to all, including myself.