Episode 9

…or taking time to acknowledge God

Over the last week I have been doing something new in my spiritual practice, not asking God for anything. I have simply been taking time to acknowledge God.

It is ridiculously hard.

No, I am serious. I have never done anything this hard in prayer in my life. Spending time in prayer simply acknowledging who God is has been beyond difficult. You would think that someone who has been actively seeking to follow God since 1995 and is a “professional Christian” would be able to spend hours and hours simply acknowledging God.

Nope. I can’t.

Monday it was about 5 minutes before my mind and heart wandered to other things and people and concerns.

Tuesday it was about 2.

Wednesday, I didn’t even take time to do it because, “What’s the point?” Yes, I’m firmly Gen X.

Thursday, I figured I better make a bit more effort and was successfully able to focus on God and God alone for all of about 7 minutes! Victory! Or not.

This morning, 10 minutes, and in some sense I felt like I had just finished an hour working. Not a cardio kind of work out, but lifting weight with someone who was pushing me. I felt empty and completely filled up all at the same time.

Ten minutes.

That is the best I’ve got right now. Ten minutes.

I have been wrestling with why all week. I have been trying to hear from the Holy Spirit and what word of grace and truth was being spoken to me. I am looking to grab on to a kairos moment. A moment where God breaks in and enters my time and space. Kairos moments drive us to repent and believe. They keep us from getting stuck and propel us to grow.

Here is what I have discovered, I’m self-centered. Completely, utterly, and totally self-centered. In my relationship with God I am totally focused on me. If God were a human being he would walk away from this relationship. Nobody likes being friends with self-centered, me only, people. When it comes to God I am a taker and struggle to give.

You might be thinking, “But you’re a pastor. You’ve given your whole life to God, right?”

I may have given my best hours to serve God, but I am coming to realize that I have not even come close to giving him my life.

I take from God.

I take his grace.

I take his mercy.

I take his ear for my prayer.

I take…

I take…

I take…

Just seeing those things listed out and seeing the repeated “I” makes me sick.

Jesus said,

“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,” (Matthew 6:9)

This call to begin our prayer this way challenges us. It demands us to not be self-centered. We start by giving. We begin by giving to God. When we pray we are to start with God in mind.

How do I go forward? Continuing to practice an acknowledgement of God and try to become a giver in relation to him.

Episode 8

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Episode 5

Episode 4

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

…or all of life is sacred.

Last night I spoke at an event called, “The Merge: Where faith, culture, and art meets.” For just a few minutes I spoke about the reality that all of life for the person of faith is sacred. This was in the context of being a person of faith in the public forum.

As the conversation after the talk developed it ceased to be a discussion about living life as a sacred whole and became a discussion about how Christians have conversations with non-Christians. It almost felt like a sales seminar. I have been thinking about this response to the talk (and my attempted questions after) trying to discern why this is what happened.

I think it is because people of faith in America, particularly evangelicals, have lost their sense of identity. We struggle to understand that living as a Christ-follower is to live this way,

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

We have come to believe that to “do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus” means that we must include some sort of gospel speech. But that’s not it. It is first to understand that all of life is sacred. All of life, every aspect of life is sacred space and time. Working, playing, sleeping, studying, it is all sacred.

Second, we must come to grips with the fact that being a person of faith in the public forum is to be one who lives the gospel. This means we live truth, grace, mercy, love, and faith. Jesus said,

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

One of the people in the room challenged the direction of the conversation last night. He said, “You say you don’t want this to be a sales pitch. But, you all are talking like it is a sales pitch and trying to figure out how sell people. If it really means so much to you, you don’t need to do that.”

He was right.

That’s it isn’t it? Is following Jesus who I am (who you are) or is it something that you put on? If it is who I am then I can go be a great architect or doctor or student or salesman. If it is who I am then my faith, my identity, will become clear to those around me. I don’t have to pitch Jesus. In the same way that I don’t have explain to everyone how much I love my wife or my kids, my love for Jesus needs to be demonstrated in my life.

When our love for Jesus is not demonstrated in our lives, that’s when we have to pull out the sales pitch.

…how to get out of your spiritual rut.

Part of being on mission with God is our continued growth as a follower of Jesus. It is realizing that we have not arrived nor will we fully arrive with God. As we are on mission with him we must continually hear from him, change, and draw ever closer to him. How do we do it?

When you first start following Jesus it seems like everything is exciting and new. Your spiritual life feels fresh and real. The Bible “comes alive.” You’re reading it and praying. You and God feel super close. It is almost like you can audibly hear his voice.

Then something happens. Those books in the Bible like Ephesians and Philippians feel stale. You try to read some Old Testament and it’s just confusing and hard. So you read a Gospel and it seems really long. All of a sudden your prayers feel like they are bouncing off the ceiling. You start going through the motions of church attendance and maybe a Bible study here or there. You take Instagram pictures of your open Bible next to a steaming cup of joe, that was made from locally roasted beans, but you don’t really read it.

You’re in a rut. You’re stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of (you even tried listening to U2 and it didn’t help).

How do you break out of it?

First, we need to understand that our spiritual growth was never intended to be a “me and Jesus” kind of thing. It was always intended to be an “us and Jesus” kind of thing.

With this in mind, I want to challenge you to enter more fully into the community of believers. For us to break out of a spiritual rut we need other people. When we study the Scriptures it is best done in the company of other believers. We gather around the Scripture and pray and talk and challenge one another.

Second, we need to realize that our spiritual growth is wrapped up in stuff that is everywhere. It’s wrapped up in the small, every day, seemingly meaningless kinds of things. As one ancient writer said, “Do not despise the day of small things.”

We need to slow down and catch on to the things that God is doing in our midst. When we are at a stop light and we catch some beauty or a thought pops into our mind, will we hold on to it or will we ignore it? It is in these moments that we experience kairos moments. A kairos moment is the in-breaking of God into our lives. Too often we ignore it and move on.

Third, the Bible is not Jesus. The Bible is not God. We do not have a relationship with the Bible, we have a relationship with God. While we believe the Bible to be the very word of God and that it is authoritative, we must understand that the Bible reveals God to us but it is not the end all in our relationship with God.

Along with the Scriptures we need an abiding prayer life. If we are all study and no prayer, then our spiritual life will grow cold. Prayer brings us into the spiritual presence of God. It is in prayer that we are changed deeply. Spending time in prayer transforms regular space into sacred space.

Community is the oxygen, the Scriptures are the fuel, and prayer is the match that lights a blazing fire in our soul.

In the dark we just need a glimmer of light…

I rolled over and opened my eyes. It was dark. The darkness seemed to drip from the ceiling. My body ached and my head was pounding. The gentle sound of my wife’s breathing was the only comfort in that moment. As I lay there the anger raged inside me as I thought again of my friend dying, as I sat next to him praying for a miracle.

Staring at the imperceptible ceiling listening to her breathe in and out, listening to the fan occasionally creak, his face flooded my mind. The smile. The coy eyebrow raise when he knew he got you. The excitement of some new trinket in the man cave. There was a joy and a glimmer in his eye that always drew me in. He was a man. He laughed like a man. He cared like a man.

She continued to breathe quietly. The fan continued to gently creak. The darkness continued to close in. The rage was replaced with grief which was replaced with questions.

As I lay there praying for sleep in the darkness, I also prayed for light. I prayed that God would show himself and help me understand why this all happened. There was no “still small voice” only the breathing of my bride and the creaking of the fan.

I prayed until sleep finally came. It was one of those sleeps that felt like it lasted only a moment though in reality it lasted hours.

Sitting on the edge of the bed staring at my feet it still seemed dark, even though the sun had risen and light was streaming through the windows. There was a strange warmth there in the sun. My thoughts went to all the times that God had answered prayer, big and small. I was reminded how he repeatedly showed care for us and our little congregation.

I smiled.

I felt a bit more hopeful.

I still wanted to know why. I desperately want a reason. Even right now.

A couple days ago an older pastor said, “Sometimes it seems like it would be better for God to answer all prayer or none. Do miraculous stuff all the time or never. Yet, he doesn’t. God is God and we are not.”

Where is God? It turns out he is in the sunshine that cracks the darkness to warm the room. He’s in the gentle breathing of my wife and the consistent creaking of the fan. He’s in wise and honest words from a man who has lived a life with Him.

He shows himself in these tiny moments.

Where is God?

He’s there. He’s speaking. Even if he’s not giving me answers. He’s opening his arms and embracing me in the darkness. He is doing the same for you too.

Just look. You will see him.

Some days, that’s all you got.

I have spending quite a bit of time in the Psalms. More and more of that time is spent in Eugene Peterson’s, The Message. He gives words to my soul. Today it is Psalm 77 and it’s all I got.

I yell out to my God, 
I yell with all my might, 
I yell at the top of my lungs.

He listens.

I found myself in trouble 
and went looking for my Lord; 
my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.

When friends said, 
“Everything will turn out all right,” 
I didn’t believe a word they said.

I remember God — and shake my head. 
I bow my head — then wring my hands. 
I’m awake all night — not a wink of sleep; 
I can’t even say what’s bothering me.

I go over the days one by one, 
I ponder the years gone by.

I strum my lute all through the night, 
wondering how to get my life together.
 
Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good? 
Will he never smile again? 
Is his love worn threadbare? 
Has his salvation promise burned out? 
Has God forgotten his manners? 
Has he angrily stalked off and left us?

“Just my luck,” I said. 
“The High God goes out of business just the moment I need him.”

Once again I’ll go over what GOD has done, 
lay out on the table the ancient wonders; 
I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished, 
and give a long, loving look at your acts.

O God! 
Your way is holy! 
No god is great like God! 
You’re the God who makes things happen; 
you showed everyone what you can do — 
You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble, 
rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.

Ocean saw you in action, God, 
saw you and trembled with fear; 
Deep Ocean was scared to death. 
Clouds belched buckets of rain, 
Sky exploded with thunder, 
your arrows flashing this way and that. 
From Whirlwind came your thundering voice, 
Lightning exposed the world, 
Earth reeled and rocked. 
You strode right through Ocean, 
walked straight through roaring Ocean, 
but nobody saw you come or go.

Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron, 
You led your people like a flock of sheep." (Psalm 77, The Message)

Honestly, theology is pretty useless.

There, I said it.

I have wanted to say it since seminary.

Now I’ve said it.

Theology is pretty useless.

Well, let me clarify. Theology that isn’t applied is useless. Doctrine that is aloof and disconnected from the everyday life of the believer is pointless. It is nothing more than a noisy gong.

Paul writes,

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1–3)

I think we can rightly understand “love” here as living out the gospel in real life. Apart from this, we are nothing.

Theology that is trapped in the classroom is useless. Theology that is trapped in the intellect is nothing.

For theology and doctrine to be worth anything they have to be applied and lived out in our lives.

Those of us who are teachers of the Scriptures are teachers of theology too. Our goal is not simply to rightly interpret the Bible. Our goal ultimately is to help the people of God apply it to their lives so that they have a deeper understanding of their identity.

Who we are is shaped by what we believe and what we do. What we do is usually determined by what we believe.

But, if what we believe is simply trapped in our minds then it is nothing.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 
(James 1:26–27)

Acta non verba, action not words, a friend is fond of saying.

What good is theology? It’s worthless unless it moves to our hands and feet.