Daniel Rose

What do we do when the goal is unseen?

It was Thanksgiving and we were heading to my brother Jay's home outside Baltimore, Maryland. We were excited to spend time with his family and celebrate together. As we drove the weather grew worse and worse.

The snow and sleet were becoming overwhelming. Cars were pulling off and sliding off the road at an alarming rate. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than I knew I could. White knuckling was an understatement. I grew more and more tired. Tensions were rising in the car. I knew that Amy wouldn't be comfortable getting behind the wheel and so I drove on.

This journey was not going well.

I desperately wanted to stop and sleep. Amy was desperately trying to find a hotel room.

The “good” hotels were all booked up with other travelers hiding from the storm.

We drove on.

We made it to Jay's house.

Had we known how the journey would have played out, we might not have left. But, the hope of the joy of seeing my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and mom was more than enough to keep us going.

We couldn't see, quite literally, our destination, yet there was hope of the joyful reunion that kept us going. The perseverance paid off! The joy was made that much more sweeter after the difficulty of the journey.

—

“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, The Message)”

—

At the beginning of any journey you can't see the end. You can try to picture it in your mind's eye but you don't see it. You have to start out and just go. You hope that the going will be smooth and easy. You hope that there will not be any bad weather or traffic jams or delayed flights. But, at the end of the day, you just don't know what the journey will be like nor can you see the destination.

Every journey demands faith.

Paul Tillich wrote, “Faith is an act of a finite being who is grasped by, and turned to, the infinite.”

I'm realizing that this is exactly what has been at the center of my journey toward fitness. It is a journey of the finite being grasped by the infinite.

You see, there's no end to the pursuit of fitness. It's an ongoing journey with various stops along the way.

—

I am struck by something that the Apostle Paul says in that quote from 2 Corinthians, “The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.”

As I consider what is going on in my fitness journey, this really is the heart of the matter. It's not about a particular number on the scale or the size of my waist. No, those things are here today and gone tomorrow. It's truly about the pursuit of fitness. A pursuit of something that will last forever.

Being strong, feeling good, having energy, loving well. These are the things that the journey brings about.

So I journey on.

I am believing by faith that the journey will help me become fully myself.

We can't truly see the end when we begin, but stepping out in faith on the journey opens the door to joy.

What do we do when the goal is unseen?

It was Thanksgiving and we were heading to my brother Jay's home outside Baltimore, Maryland. We were excited to spend time with his family and celebrate together. As we drove the weather grew worse and worse.

The snow and sleet were becoming overwhelming. Cars were pulling off and sliding off the road at an alarming rate. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than I knew I could. White knuckling was an understatement. I grew more and more tired. Tensions were rising in the car. I knew that Amy wouldn't be comfortable getting behind the wheel and so I drove on.

This journey was not going well.

I desperately wanted to stop and sleep. Amy was desperately trying to find a hotel room.

The “good” hotels were all booked up with other travelers hiding from the storm.

We drove on.

We made it to Jay's house.

Had we known how the journey would have played out, we might not have left. But, the hope of the joy of seeing my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and mom was more than enough to keep us going.

We couldn't see, quite literally, our destination, yet there was hope of the joyful reunion that kept us going. The perseverance paid off! The joy was made that much more sweeter after the difficulty of the journey.

—

“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, The Message)”

—

At the beginning of any journey you can't see the end. You can try to picture it in your mind's eye but you don't see it. You have to start out and just go. You hope that the going will be smooth and easy. You hope that there will not be any bad weather or traffic jams or delayed flights. But, at the end of the day, you just don't know what the journey will be like nor can you see the destination.

Every journey demands faith.

Paul Tillich wrote, “Faith is an act of a finite being who is grasped by, and turned to, the infinite.”

I'm realizing that this is exactly what has been at the center of my journey toward fitness. It is a journey of the finite being grasped by the infinite.

You see, there's no end to the pursuit of fitness. It's an ongoing journey with various stops along the way.

—

I am struck by something that the Apostle Paul says in that quote from 2 Corinthians, “The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.”

As I consider what is going on in my fitness journey, this really is the heart of the matter. It's not about a particular number on the scale or the size of my waist. No, those things are here today and gone tomorrow. It's truly about the pursuit of fitness. A pursuit of something that will last forever.

Being strong, feeling good, having energy, loving well. These are the things that the journey brings about.

So I journey on.

I am believing by faith that the journey will help me become fully myself.

We can't truly see the end when we begin, but stepping out in faith on the journey opens the door to joy.

We aren't made to walk the path alone.

I began my journey toward physical fitness with a commitment to walk fifteen minutes per day. My thinking was that I could do anything for fifteen minutes. I was right. Rarely did I walk for less than twenty minutes. Almost always, I walked at least thirty.

I had, in my excitement over such a plan, decided to invite some close friends to hold me accountable. My walk needed to be done by 10 pm or they were free to give me all the grief!

At some point in my walking, I pulled a muscle. I could barely walk. But, I persevered. I can do anything for fifteen minutes.

During that time, it was all I could do to walk around the block. I had a dip in the hip but absolutely no glide in the stride. One evening, I had decided that after mowing the lawn I had had enough for the day.

I then made a fatal mistake. I told my close friends that I was counting the mowing as my walk.

In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake, huge, BIG!”

“You made a commitment to walk. Your commitment was not to mow.”

I raged. I argued. I walked.

Never in my life had I been actually held accountable to anything.

These friends loved me enough to hold me accountable to the commitment I had made. I really didn't like them when they did. Yet, they held their ground and pushed me to walk. They wanted me to succeed. In that moment they wanted me to hold to my commitment more than I did.

I walked!

—

There is a passage in the ancient text that goes like this,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)”

This is written right after the writer lists out a number of people who had lived and died in faith. They were the “who's who” of the Old Testament. These people persevered in their faith and made up the “great cloud of witnesses,” along with countless others.

It is interesting to me that when he writes about persevering through the race he sets the call in the context of a “great cloud of witnesses.”

The community of faith, the cloud of witnesses, were the context from which the author calls people to press on and persevere.

—

We are not made to be alone. It is not good for us to be alone. We need community. We need a cloud of witnesses.

In my pursuit of fitness (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational) I have become keenly aware of my need for a cloud of witnesses. This cloud of witnesses I call my “crew.” These are the people that I have learned to trust with all of who I am. I have invited them into my life and given them the go ahead to hold me accountable.

When I don't want to persevere, I reach out to these people and they encourage me to walk on.

A community of people who are truly involved in your life will eventually make you very angry because they will not let you get away with quitting. To quit, to stop walking, is the one thing that is unacceptable to them. This crew of mine reminds me of my commitments, to be sure, but more than that, they remind me of who I am and who I want to be.

My identity is not shaped in isolation. It is shaped in community. My crew reminds me of who I am and these reminders give me the hope to carry on.

The journey towards fitness necessitates a crew of people who walk with you.

Who is your crew? Will they ensure that you walk on?

—

*And love is not the easy thing The only baggage that you can bring And love is not the easy thing The only baggage you can bring Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off And if your glass heart should crack And for a second you turn back Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on What you got they can't steal it No, they can't even feel it Walk on, walk on Stay safe tonight* – U2

We aren't made to walk the path alone.

I began my journey toward physical fitness with a commitment to walk fifteen minutes per day. My thinking was that I could do anything for fifteen minutes. I was right. Rarely did I walk for less than twenty minutes. Almost always, I walked at least thirty.

I had, in my excitement over such a plan, decided to invite some close friends to hold me accountable. My walk needed to be done by 10 pm or they were free to give me all the grief!

At some point in my walking, I pulled a muscle. I could barely walk. But, I persevered. I can do anything for fifteen minutes.

During that time, it was all I could do to walk around the block. I had a dip in the hip but absolutely no glide in the stride. One evening, I had decided that after mowing the lawn I had had enough for the day.

I then made a fatal mistake. I told my close friends that I was counting the mowing as my walk.

In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake, huge, BIG!”

“You made a commitment to walk. Your commitment was not to mow.”

I raged. I argued. I walked.

Never in my life had I been actually held accountable to anything.

These friends loved me enough to hold me accountable to the commitment I had made. I really didn't like them when they did. Yet, they held their ground and pushed me to walk. They wanted me to succeed. In that moment they wanted me to hold to my commitment more than I did.

I walked!

—

There is a passage in the ancient text that goes like this,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)”

This is written right after the writer lists out a number of people who had lived and died in faith. They were the “who's who” of the Old Testament. These people persevered in their faith and made up the “great cloud of witnesses,” along with countless others.

It is interesting to me that when he writes about persevering through the race he sets the call in the context of a “great cloud of witnesses.”

The community of faith, the cloud of witnesses, were the context from which the author calls people to press on and persevere.

—

We are not made to be alone. It is not good for us to be alone. We need community. We need a cloud of witnesses.

In my pursuit of fitness (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational) I have become keenly aware of my need for a cloud of witnesses. This cloud of witnesses I call my “crew.” These are the people that I have learned to trust with all of who I am. I have invited them into my life and given them the go ahead to hold me accountable.

When I don't want to persevere, I reach out to these people and they encourage me to walk on.

A community of people who are truly involved in your life will eventually make you very angry because they will not let you get away with quitting. To quit, to stop walking, is the one thing that is unacceptable to them. This crew of mine reminds me of my commitments, to be sure, but more than that, they remind me of who I am and who I want to be.

My identity is not shaped in isolation. It is shaped in community. My crew reminds me of who I am and these reminders give me the hope to carry on.

The journey towards fitness necessitates a crew of people who walk with you.

Who is your crew? Will they ensure that you walk on?

—

*And love is not the easy thing The only baggage that you can bring And love is not the easy thing The only baggage you can bring Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off And if your glass heart should crack And for a second you turn back Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on What you got they can't steal it No, they can't even feel it Walk on, walk on Stay safe tonight* – U2

What if we valued perseverance over being perfect?

Sophia was walking through the forest with her friend Avil. As they were walking and talking she stubbed her toe on a root that had broken through the path. She stumbled and exclaimed her shock and surprise. She regained her footing and they continued walking.

A little bit later, Avil stubbed his toe as well. He cried out and then found another root and stubbed his other toe. When he did, he tripped and skinned his knee. He was distraught and threw himself down the side of a hill where he broke his leg. As rolled down the hill he also skinned his knee. So, he took a rock and broke his other arm.

It didn't take long before Sophia realized that the walk was over.

—

This parable is ridiculous! Avil (the Hebrew word for fool) is beyond foolish. Nobody would ever stub their toe and then go on to break their leg. Not to mention all the other ridiculous responses he made. Most of us likely see ourselves in Sophia, she stubs her toe and then continues on. That just makes sense, right?

Here's the crazy thing, if I'm honest, Avil is a reflection of me.

Over the years I've tried all kinds of things to lose weight and to pursue physical health.

Without fail, I've fallen short of my “plan.” When I did, I would throw my hands up and say, “Well, I blew it. Might as well enjoy it!” So what would I do? I'd get the famous number two from McDonald's, (two cheeseburgers, large fry, and a Coke) or I'd get a large pizza. I mean, why not? I have messed up the diet anyway.

You see, when it came to pursuing physical health my mindset has been, “perfection or nothing.” If I couldn't be perfect, I might as well just indulge.

There was no in between.

All or nothing.

I can trace this all or nothing approach through my pursuit of emotional health, spiritual health, and relational health too.

Health has always been a goal, a pursuit, something that I sought to attain. So, if I wasn't perfect then I was a failure. If I failed, then why press on?

I was all about perfection over perseverance.

—

The Apostle Paul wrote, “I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. (Philippians 3:12-14, The Message)”

Paul was someone who was aware of the reality that life isn't a zero sum game. Inherent in what he writes here is the reality that life is a process. Becoming mature in his faith was not something that he was necessarily going to succeed at. It was a journey that he was on.

Notice also, that there was failure baked into what Paul said. Paul seems to be saying, “I fail too! I fall short too! But I press on!”

Perseverance is more important than perfection.

—

I will never be perfect. I will never have a perfect streak of eating well or exercising or being a good friend or being emotionally fit. But, instead of quitting I need to embrace the way of Sophia and recover my footing and keep hiking.

Something that I think that has been an important lesson is to learn the subtle shift from thinking about health to thinking about fitness.

Mental fitness. Physical fitness. Spiritual fitness. Emotional fitness. Relational fitness.

Fitness doesn't have an end. It's a goal to strive toward but you never really attain it. You never arrive at the end of fitness. So, you keep on pressing on. Straining toward the goal.

No turning back!

If the journey is the goal and the goal is the journey then all we really have is perseverance.

Perfection is not something that we will ever find. If not being perfect derails the journey then I will never be able to move forward.

Because I am on a journey that has no end there is only the option of pressing on. Getting a little better each day. Even when there's a step backward it's not the end. I can regain my footing like Sophia and keep walking.

Perseverance over perfection.

What if we valued perseverance over being perfect?

Sophia was walking through the forest with her friend Avil. As they were walking and talking she stubbed her toe on a root that had broken through the path. She stumbled and exclaimed her shock and surprise. She regained her footing and they continued walking.

A little bit later, Avil stubbed his toe as well. He cried out and then found another root and stubbed his other toe. When he did, he tripped and skinned his knee. He was distraught and threw himself down the side of a hill where he broke his leg. As rolled down the hill he also skinned his knee. So, he took a rock and broke his other arm.

It didn't take long before Sophia realized that the walk was over.

—

This parable is ridiculous! Avil (the Hebrew word for fool) is beyond foolish. Nobody would ever stub their toe and then go on to break their leg. Not to mention all the other ridiculous responses he made. Most of us likely see ourselves in Sophia, she stubs her toe and then continues on. That just makes sense, right?

Here's the crazy thing, if I'm honest, Avil is a reflection of me.

Over the years I've tried all kinds of things to lose weight and to pursue physical health.

Without fail, I've fallen short of my “plan.” When I did, I would throw my hands up and say, “Well, I blew it. Might as well enjoy it!” So what would I do? I'd get the famous number two from McDonald's, (two cheeseburgers, large fry, and a Coke) or I'd get a large pizza. I mean, why not? I have messed up the diet anyway.

You see, when it came to pursuing physical health my mindset has been, “perfection or nothing.” If I couldn't be perfect, I might as well just indulge.

There was no in between.

All or nothing.

I can trace this all or nothing approach through my pursuit of emotional health, spiritual health, and relational health too.

Health has always been a goal, a pursuit, something that I sought to attain. So, if I wasn't perfect then I was a failure. If I failed, then why press on?

I was all about perfection over perseverance.

—

The Apostle Paul wrote, “I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. (Philippians 3:12-14, The Message)”

Paul was someone who was aware of the reality that life isn't a zero sum game. Inherent in what he writes here is the reality that life is a process. Becoming mature in his faith was not something that he was necessarily going to succeed at. It was a journey that he was on.

Notice also, that there was failure baked into what Paul said. Paul seems to be saying, “I fail too! I fall short too! But I press on!”

Perseverance is more important than perfection.

—

I will never be perfect. I will never have a perfect streak of eating well or exercising or being a good friend or being emotionally fit. But, instead of quitting I need to embrace the way of Sophia and recover my footing and keep hiking.

Something that I think that has been an important lesson is to learn the subtle shift from thinking about health to thinking about fitness.

Mental fitness. Physical fitness. Spiritual fitness. Emotional fitness. Relational fitness.

Fitness doesn't have an end. It's a goal to strive toward but you never really attain it. You never arrive at the end of fitness. So, you keep on pressing on. Straining toward the goal.

No turning back!

If the journey is the goal and the goal is the journey then all we really have is perseverance.

Perfection is not something that we will ever find. If not being perfect derails the journey then I will never be able to move forward.

Because I am on a journey that has no end there is only the option of pressing on. Getting a little better each day. Even when there's a step backward it's not the end. I can regain my footing like Sophia and keep walking.

Perseverance over perfection.

Our self identity shapes what we do.

A couple of years ago I read a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear. He tells the story of a friend who went on a weight loss journey. To begin this journey his friend started a habit of going to the gym. At this point you might be thinking, “Well, of course he did.” But here's the kicker, he never went in. Every day he drove to the gym and parked in the parking lot.

What a strange thing to do, I thought. It surely didn't make any sense to me when I initially read it. I stopped and pondered why would he do something so strange before continuing to read. I wanted to try and figure it out. For the life of me, I couldn't. It just didn't make any sense.

Eventually, as you would expect, his friend began going into the gym. But, he didn't work out. He just went in. Then, he started exercising but only did one set of one movement. Then he left. But, then he started working out regularly and changed his physical state of health.

What was happening in this story?

This man was changing his identity.

When he started his journey he was not someone who exercised. To become someone who exercised he needed to become someone who went to the gym. He wasn't that guy either. He had to become a person who went tot he gym before he could become a person who exercised. So, at the most basic of levels he became a person who went to the gym.

This story deeply resonated with me.

I had begun figuring out my why. I was beginning to learn what it meant to love me. But, there was a second question that I needed to wrestle with, “Who am I?”

What kind of person am I?

I began to work through a series of “I am...” statements related to health.

I am a spiritually healthy person. What does this mean? What does a spiritually healthy person look like? What kinds of practices does a spiritually healthy person have in their lives?

I am a relationally healthy person. What does a relationally healthy person look like? What kinds of relationships do they have? How do they orient their time? What kinds of boundaries does this person have?

I am an emotionally healthy person. What does this look like? How do I lean into working on emotional health? Are there signs of not being emotionally healthy that need to be addressed?

I am a physically healthy person. What kind of person is physically healthy? What is true of this person? What practices are in place for a person to by physically healthy?

Notice that these were statements followed by questions. They were not questions followed by more questions. I began to change the way I thought of myself.

I am...

As my self-identity began to change things became easier and easier.

When I went out to dinner I would look at the menu and ask myself, “What would a physically healthy person order here?” Then I would order that because I am a physically healthy person.

Self-identifying as a “physically healthy person” also helped getting physically active much easier. On the many mornings that I don't want to hit the gym I think to myself, “A physically healthy person goes to the gym. I am a physically healthy person, so I will go to the gym.”

As I grow in my new self-identity as a healthy person (spiritually, reltionally, emotionally, and physically) I find making decisions to be easier. I am also finding that there are other things that are beginning to happen. For instance, part of my new identity is that I'm a person who goes to they gym three days a week and lifts weights. That's who I am now.

In the past, I was a person who was on a diet.

Diets are something that end.

As a person on a diet I would eventually become a person not on a diet. This meant that when I wasn't on a diet I would typically revert to old habits and undo much of what was done on the diet.

I am a person who is healthy. This never stops. It's a new way to of being. This way of being lasts beyond reaching any particular goal.

Pursuing a way of being is not goal driven. It is journey driven.

Who am I?

That's the question that shapes the journey.

Our self identity shapes what we do.

A couple of years ago I read a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear. He tells the story of a friend who went on a weight loss journey. To begin this journey his friend started a habit of going to the gym. At this point you might be thinking, “Well, of course he did.” But here's the kicker, he never went in. Every day he drove to the gym and parked in the parking lot.

What a strange thing to do, I thought. It surely didn't make any sense to me when I initially read it. I stopped and pondered why would he do something so strange before continuing to read. I wanted to try and figure it out. For the life of me, I couldn't. It just didn't make any sense.

Eventually, as you would expect, his friend began going into the gym. But, he didn't work out. He just went in. Then, he started exercising but only did one set of one movement. Then he left. But, then he started working out regularly and changed his physical state of health.

What was happening in this story?

This man was changing his identity.

When he started his journey he was not someone who exercised. To become someone who exercised he needed to become someone who went to the gym. He wasn't that guy either. He had to become a person who went tot he gym before he could become a person who exercised. So, at the most basic of levels he became a person who went to the gym.

This story deeply resonated with me.

I had begun figuring out my why. I was beginning to learn what it meant to love me. But, there was a second question that I needed to wrestle with, “Who am I?”

What kind of person am I?

I began to work through a series of “I am...” statements related to health.

I am a spiritually healthy person. What does this mean? What does a spiritually healthy person look like? What kinds of practices does a spiritually healthy person have in their lives?

I am a relationally healthy person. What does a relationally healthy person look like? What kinds of relationships do they have? How do they orient their time? What kinds of boundaries does this person have?

I am an emotionally healthy person. What does this look like? How do I lean into working on emotional health? Are there signs of not being emotionally healthy that need to be addressed?

I am a physically healthy person. What kind of person is physically healthy? What is true of this person? What practices are in place for a person to by physically healthy?

Notice that these were statements followed by questions. They were not questions followed by more questions. I began to change the way I thought of myself.

I am...

As my self-identity began to change things became easier and easier.

When I went out to dinner I would look at the menu and ask myself, “What would a physically healthy person order here?” Then I would order that because I am a physically healthy person.

Self-identifying as a “physically healthy person” also helped getting physically active much easier. On the many mornings that I don't want to hit the gym I think to myself, “A physically healthy person goes to the gym. I am a physically healthy person, so I will go to the gym.”

As I grow in my new self-identity as a healthy person (spiritually, reltionally, emotionally, and physically) I find making decisions to be easier. I am also finding that there are other things that are beginning to happen. For instance, part of my new identity is that I'm a person who goes to they gym three days a week and lifts weights. That's who I am now.

In the past, I was a person who was on a diet.

Diets are something that end.

As a person on a diet I would eventually become a person not on a diet. This meant that when I wasn't on a diet I would typically revert to old habits and undo much of what was done on the diet.

I am a person who is healthy. This never stops. It's a new way to of being. This way of being lasts beyond reaching any particular goal.

Pursuing a way of being is not goal driven. It is journey driven.

Who am I?

That's the question that shapes the journey.