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When Religion Goes Bad
God-washed power pollutes everything it touches but there is hope
Over the last year I've read three books that have caused me significant pause.
The first was, A Church Called Tov by Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer. The second was, Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez. The third was, The Flag and the Cross by Phillip Gorski and Samuel Perry.
All three of these books evaluate the state of the American Evangelical church from slightly different perspectives. A Church Called Tov offers a prescription and hope for how to be a church that is good. Jesus and John Wayne looks at the historical development for how the American Evangelical church became the church that we see all around us. The Flag and the Cross is a data driven book that takes a look at White Christian Nationalism.
These three books have helped me answer the question, “Why?”
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Why are we in the situation that we are in? What has happened to the American church? How did we get to a place where the many people are more aligned to political agendas than they are to the cause of Christ? Why are we seeing so many pastors falling morally? Why are so many people waking up to realize that they have been abused spiritually by the men and women that they have entrusted their souls to?
Why?
While all three of these have slightly different angles, I think they are all wrestling with the same fundamental question. How does religion deal with having power? Specifically how does Christianity handle power? Even more specifically, what happens when Evangelicalism ascends to a place of significant cultural and political power?
I would encourage you to read the books, They are accessible and have been helpful.
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As I have pondered what these authors have written I have come to realize that there is a significant rot in the heart of American Evangelical Christianity.
Christianity has always thrived when it was not in power. It is a faith that was formed in the crucible of persecution. As power has shifted to the West, Christianity came with it. Over the last 150 years or so we have seen Christianity come to the fore as a power in and of itself.
One would hope that a faith that is rooted in self-sacrifical love, love of neighbor, and love of enemy would handle power well.
Sadly, we have failed the test.
We have failed the test corporately and we have failed individually as well.
What I am seeing all around me is the reality that power corrupts and God-washed power corrupts infinitely more.
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C.S. Lewis wrote in his Reflections on the Psalms, “If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. Of all created beings the wickedest is one who originally stood in the immediate presence of God.”
Christianity has been gutted from the inside out. In much of American Christianity there is little spiritual formation or moral formation. It is all about “getting people saved.”
“Pray this prayer and get saved.”
The desire to sell eternal fire insurance has created a culture that is a mile wide and an inch deep. We are reaping now what we have sown over the last seventy years or so.
Christianity is now a token to trade for positions of power. It is no longer a life transforming faith.
In those first decades of the Christian faith it was known as, “The Way.” There was a lived aspect to Christianity. The expectation was that following in the way of Jesus was of utter importance.
Today? Today we simply disregard the teachings and ways of Jesus if they get in our way of power.
We have seen the rise to power of the “religious bad men.”
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Is there any hope?
I think so.
If we can first acknowledge the reality that many of us hunger and thirst for power more than we do righteousness, that would be a good start. We need to own up to the fact that the grievances that many have toward the institution of the church are real and true.
We need to learn again the importance of spiritual formation for the one who is seeking to follow Jesus.
There must be a re-ordering of our lives. The way of Jesus must be first. This is what Jesus meant when he said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)” Jesus is arguing for a re-orienting of our lives.
Jesus' way is ultimately self-sacrificial rooted in love. When Jesus was offered power he said, “No.”
In the letter to the Philippians, Paul of Tarsus challenged the church there to relate to one another in light of the way of Christ. He wrote of Christ,
“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!”
There is hope. It is rooted not in the pursuit of power but in the pursuit of sharing the mind of Christ.
I desperately want this to be true of me. I so badly want to be a person for who is living the way of Jesus rooted in self-sacrificial love.
I can not change the world. I can change me and I can model this way for those whom have trusted themselves to my spiritual care.
It is high time for the rise of the religious good people.
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November 16, 2023
Judge 2:6-15
“After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel.”
There may be no more enduring meme than the angry old guy yelling, “Get off my lawn!” It seems that every generation feels like the “youth” are terrible and only getting worse. They look at the world and say, “These darn kids are hopeless.”
The younger generation mocks the older as well. “OK Boomer,” is the refrain that rings out these days.
Perhaps it's human nature to dislike the young or the old.
What strikes me is that so often we complain about the “youth” without taking a moment to consider the reality that those of us in the previous generations are responsible for the emerging generations.
Do we really care?
The emerging generations don't appear out of nowhere. They parented and raised by someone. Who could it be? Oh, yeah, the previous generations.
As I read this passage it finally hit me that the people in the previous generations didn't continue to pass on the stories of the God-Who-Saves to the next. Eventually, the people found themselves alone in the wilderness so to speak. It isn't the fault of the emerging generation.
I am coming to think that every emerging generation is a reflection of the inner realities of the previous generation.
Think about that for a moment.
We take what is in us and implant those values and principles into those we raise. They then embody those things. If we don't like what we see, it's our fault, not theirs. People can only ultimately only know what they've been taught.
And more is caught than taught.
Wait, what?
How we live is the clearest display of what we really think and believe. That gets caught by the emerging generations.
What we see in them that we appreciate and despise are things that we as the previous generation implanted in them through our display of life and what we specifically taught. Some of it also a reaction against the things that they see as hypocritical and wrong (which it almost always is).
The question I'm pondering, “How am I displaying for the emerging generations the life of love, grace, and mercy?”
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November 15. 2023
Jeremiah 31:31-34
“I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
Self-centeredness has been on my mind lately due to the readings that have I been meditating on this week. As I come to this little passage where God unveils the next development in God's covenantal relationship with God's people, I am struck by the communal aspect of it.
In American Christianity we have often been enamored with the individual. We make all our heroes into John Wayne types. Strong, solitary, and not needing anyone. Yet, this is not what we actually see in the Scriptures. All of the heroes of the faith were deeply embedded in community.
Our fascination with the individual has bled over into our understanding of what God is up to in the world. We think of God as saving individuals. Yet, it appears that there is something more that God is doing. God is out here redeeming for God-self a people.
A community. A body. A congregation. A people.
I have heard so many messages about taking verses like this and individualizing it. This absolutely misses the point.
As I grow older and (I think) wiser, I am coming to the conclusion that it is not possible to walk with God alone. We walk with God in community.
The question I'm pondering today, “Am I opening myself to community or am I isolating myself?”
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November 14, 2023
Nehemiah 8:1-12
“Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them.”
Nehemiah is one of those books in the Bible that get used for “leadership” retreats and the like. It always amazes me how we can take these ancient texts and make them fit into whatever we want them to fit. Nevertheless, that's not the point.
As I meditated on this passage this morning I was struck by the closing verse about how the people went away to celebrate because they understood the Scriptures. It was striking because it challenges my understanding of my calling in the realm of preaching or communicating the Scriptures to God's people.
I have always thought of the task before me to be one of challenging God's people to consider the Scriptures in such a way that brings about life change. But, did I miss the boat? Have I missed something important in my calling?
I think perhaps I have.
Could it be that the result I ought to be hoping for is for people to experience joy?
As I grow in my faith I experience more joy. Why? Because I grasp more fully the depths of God's grace and love for me and others. Maturing in faith leads to greater love and greater love leads to greater joy.
It turns that I've not been thinking about the end of my pastoring the people who have trusted their spiritual life to me. I've only thought about the process. It's like in parenting, if I'm raising children I do things very differently than if I'm raising adults.
I want to be a pastor that is focused on building joy in the people who entrust themselves to my care.
Today I'm pondering, “Am I leading to people to joy and celebration or to something less?”
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November 13, 2023
Psalm 78
“They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.”
This psalm is one that constantly grabs my attention. It does so on multiple levels. Today, as I sit here meditating on it verse 18 almost levitated off the page.
It wasn't the putting God to the test bit that jumps out. It is the “demanding the food they craved,” bit.
I am such a selfish and self-centered person. So much of my feelings toward the Divine is related on whether or not my cravings are met. I don't think in my life I have ever experienced need. (At least not knowingly, I am sure that my mom would be able to tell me some behind the scenes times when things were really hard.)
During the first few years of our marriage finances were tight. We laugh about taking rolled coins to Hot 'N Now for date nights. But, even then, we had all our needs met. We had food and housing and clothes and vehicles and gasoline. There was no need that we had that wasn't taken care of.
There have been times that I have had some significant desires for material items and those were not able to be met. “Oddly”, it was during those when I felt like the Divine was farthest from me.
Golly gee why was that?
Because my wants and desires weren't being met.
Now, let's be very clear, I am not equating seasons of deep and abiding pain with what I'm wrestling with. I have friends who have lost children and spouses. Questioning the presence and care of the Divine in those times is not what I'm wrestling with today.
No, I'm wrestling with this sense of feeling like God has failed me because I haven't received my wants and desires like a spoiled child.
I think this is what the psalmist is getting at with this line about the “food they craved.” God was providing for the need of the people but they wanted more. They wanted their cravings met. Jesus fed the 5000 and they chased him around the lake, wanting more.
My belly, my cravings, my desires drive so much of how I move through the world.
Today I'm wrestling with the question, “Am I learning to be content or am I being overtaken by my cravings?”
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November 10, 2023
Psalm 78:1-8, The Message
“We’re not keeping this to ourselves, we’re passing it along to the next generation— GOD’s fame and fortune, the marvelous things he has done.“
This theme of passing things along to the next generation has been running through a lot of my reading lately. I wrote about it a bit on November 6 and the need to be intentional with relationships.
Today, I'm struck by this idea of passing along the stories of “the marvelous things he has done.”
It reminds me of a conversation that I had with my son a few years ago. He asked, “Dad, how do you do it?”
“How do I do what?”
“You coming alongside people in some of the hardest things in their life. How do you keep believing in God?”
“That's a really good question. I think what happens is that every time I walk through one of those seasons of life with people I learn something new and I learn something that I also need to let go of. But, I bring with me the things that I've learned in the past about God too. Nothing happens in a vacuum. So, I have this whole history with God that I bring with me and that history teaches me how to hold on in the midst of the hurt.”
“Oh. That's deep.”
“I'm a well.”
“Huh?”
“You'll get it some day.”
As I meditate on this verse today I am reminded how important it is to share with our children the stories of where we have seen God care for us and provide for us. The stories of God's faithfulness in the midst of our struggles.
It's the struggle that makes the provision beautiful.
The question I'm thinking about today is, “Do I remember how God has cared for, provided for, and done marvelous works in my life?”
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How Do You Read the Bible?
What if meditation was the key to reading the Bible?
I was in high school and attending something called a Summer Institute at Eastern Michigan University. Rising high school seniors could attend the institute in a number of disciplines. I attended this two week experience for music. It was an amazing couple of weeks and I met some really fun people.
It was at this Summer Institute that I was first exposed to meditation. We sat on yoga mats and were told to clear our minds. Then we focused on breathing. It wasn't long before most of us were asleep, myself included. I didn't really get the whole meditation thing.
Over my years in ministry I have come to love Eugene Peterson. The translation of the Bible that he lead, The Message, has been salve to my weary soul. His books have inspired and challenged me to know end. He is, in so many ways my spiritual mentor. I want to be a pastor the way he was. I want to love well and write and preach and care for my neighbors.
As I was reading his beautiful little text, Eat This Book, I was shocked by the discovery that he was in many ways primarily writing a book about meditation. Eat This Book is a book about spiritual reading. The primary question that Peterson wrestles with is this, “How do we read the Bible?”
Many of us read the Bible as though it is a rule book or an encyclopedia. We mine it for information that we can then use. The thing is, that's not what the Bible is. The Bible isn't a textbook or a set of rules or a history text. No, the Bible is the collection of people's interactions with the Divine.
Does the Bible have rules? Yes. Does the Bible have information? Yes. Does the Bible have history? Yes.
But, the Bible is not really any of those things. It is qualitatively different. It is a collection of stories that are all used to tell one story. This is a magnificent story about a God whose engages people with “love-in-action”. So many other god stories are about capricious gods seeking to win the affection of their adherents. It's hard to tell the difference in those stories between the gods and the people. The stories of this God are similar but different. What I find different is that they are stories of a God who takes the initiative through love-in-action, ultimately becoming like the very ones God seeks to save.
As I was saying, Peterson is writing about how to read the Bible focuses his attention on meditation. This punched me between the eyes because ever since that day at EMU I have never been a fan of meditation. It always seemed to be nothing more than a good excuse to have a nap. (Now that I think about it, perhaps I should have leaned into it sooner!)
Peterson writes, “Meditation is the primary way in which we guard against the fragmentation of our Scripture reading into isolated oracles. Meditation enters into the coherent universe of God's revelation. Meditation is the prayerful employ of imagination in order to become friends with the text. It must not be confused with fancy or fantasy.”
Why does he write this?
He writes this because meditation of the Scripture breaks us free from our approach to it as a rule book or encyclopedia or history text. When we study it, we break it down into atomistic pieces and as a result can fragment the text beyond recognition. This, I think, is one of the reasons that we have seen such a spiritual degradation in our American evangelical context. We read certain verses in isolation from one another in such a way that we think they exist in a vacuum. But, the verses of the Bible exist in an organic connection to one another. We need to let them into our lives.
As Peterson writes, we need the Scriptures to become our friends.
You don't befriend a person by learning all their key facts.
Know, you befriend a person by being with them. You get to know them beyond their bare details.
Have you ever been to a bad funeral? I have. Bad funerals are the worst. A bad funeral is one where the officiant clearly doesn't know the person who has died. They simply relate some facts about the person and then read a few Bible verses and that's that.
I've also been to some really good funerals. These are funerals where those who speak knew the person. They tell stories and often there is laughter. But, they also communicate to those there what was most important to the person who passed away. These funerals are the good because there is a depth of friendship that permeates the whole experience.
Meditation on Scripture is the act of getting to know the text.
You read it. You meditate on it. You ponder it. You wrestle with it. You let your imagination run with it.
The primary Hebrew word in the Old Testament that we translate as “meditate,” is hagah. It carries the idea of murmuring, pondering, imagining. It can also have this idea of “make like” or “to compare.” It's interesting to consider these latter ideas.
When we meditate on the Scripture and we allow our holy imagination to become engaged perhaps it brings us to a place where we might be able to begin making this world like the kingdom of God? Perhaps we bring a little heaven on earth if we spent more time meditating on the Scriptures?
As I learn more about the practice of meditating on the Scripture I find that it shapes my view of the world. I become more hopeful. I become less cynical. More and more I see the world through a lens of grace and mercy and love.
Perhaps if pondered this text more and studied it a little less, we would become more loving?
May we ponder together this beautiful story of the loving-in-action God!
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November 9, 2023
Psalm 70
“Let those on the hunt for you sing and celebrate.”
Throughout my life of faith the hardest thing for me has always been the reality that I can not experience God with my senses. You would think that this would create in me a lack of belief, yet it has not. Why? Because I think I see all around me the effects of God.
I guess it's like that truism, “I can't see the wind but I can feel it's effect.”
I think about this a lot. How can I believe when I can not see?
Some would say, “This is where faith comes in.” I suppose that's true. But, it is not very satisfying.
As I read this psalm today this line, “Let those on the hunt for you sing and celebrate,” really grabbed my attention. I've been thinking about it all morning.
There is something called the Baarder-Meinhoff phenomenon. This is what we call that phenomenon that happens when you start noticing things that you never saw before. For instance, you buy a yellow car and all of a sudden you being “seeing” yellow cars all over the place. Were they never there before? Of course they were. But, for some reason you just didn't notice them. Now, you do.
In a very real sense, what you seek to see you will find.
I see God in so many things. I see God in God's creation. I see God through the creative process. I see God in technology and science and medicine.
Where I see God the most is in the self-sacrificial loving-kindness of people. I look around and am amazed by the way people love. So many, I'd say the vast majority of people that I know love so well. Sure, there are people that I experience as unkind, yet I also see them love other people well.
As I look for God and see God in the people around me it causes me to rejoice.
What I'm pondering today is, “Am I looking for God?”
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November 8, 2023
Matthew 15:1-9
“Why do you use your rules to play fast and loose with God’s commands?”
I am sure that someone with religious authority would never, and I mean never, create rules to “play and fast loose with God's commands.”
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is happens all the time.
If I'm really honest with myself I know that I have done this. I have used my authority as a religious leader to make rules so as to get people to do what I want them to do or to manipulate a situation for my benefit.
It's gross. I have elsewhere written about this. I have sought forgiveness from those people to whom I have done this and now I am hyper aware to ensure that I don't do this. It's one of the reasons that I don't post a lot about politics directly or specifically. When it comes to those things they are just my opinions and opinions are like arm pits, hairy, stinky, and you have two.
I think that those of us with religious authority are constantly at danger to do this very thing. We can create “interpretations” of Scripture to use it as we will. I see this in relation to morality and politics most often. What's really fascinating is when religious leaders do this to avoid many statements made by Jesus.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Love your enemy.” “Pray for those who persecute.”
The list could go on.
We do a lot of work to explain those away or to make it so that “love” looks like us being in control or getting our way. Yet, this is not the way of love. The way of love calls for self-sacrifice. It is a determined effort to want the best for the other.
Today I'm wrestling with this, “Am I living in such a way where love rules or that I love rules?”
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November 7, 2023
Psalm 128
Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him.
I don't like the word, “obedience.” It makes me feel like God is some sort of task master. I do like the word, “blessed.” I like the idea that God is doing something special for me.
These double feelings are ones that I'm guessing I'm not alone in having. If we are really honest with ourselves we prefer “blessed” over “obedience.”
What am I supposed to do with my two sets of feelings?
Perhaps, I need to think about them a bit differently. What if blessed is related to obedience but not in the sense that blessed is a reward but as a state of being living an obedient life? Is that splitting hairs? Perhaps, but it resonates a bit with me.
Eugene Peterson in the Message translates this passage like this, “All you who fear GOD, how blessed you are! How happily you walk on his smooth straight road!”
Do you see the slight difference in how Peterson takes this from the NIV in the opening? He translates “obedience” as “happily you walk on his smooth straight road.” One might even say that as we walk on the way we experience blessing.
I want to live God's way. When I live God's way I am blessed. The blessing is not the result of obedience. The blessing is the reality, I experience this state of being through walking on God's smooth, straight road.
What I'm wrestling with today: “In whose way am I walking, mine or God's?”
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November 6, 2023
Joshua 4:1-24
And then he told the People of Israel, “In the days to come, when your children ask their fathers, ‘What are these stones doing here?’ tell your children this: ‘Israel crossed over this Jordan on dry ground.’
Maybe it is because I just spent significant time with my daughter at her college campus; perhaps it's seeing the little ones running around at missional community; but this story from Joshua 4 hit me particularly hard today.
This idea of passing along the stories of God to the generations to come is something so very beautiful.
Every Sunday I experience an extreme juxtaposition. In the morning I serve a congregation that is predominantly comprised of men and women who are older than I am. In the evening I serve a congregation of people who are younger or the same age as I am. Some of the younger families have little children. This stark contrast each week is something that is beginning to leave a mark on me.
As I think about this passage in Joshua 4 it strikes me that older people of faith need to be around younger people of faith. They need to be able to tell the stories of God's faithful work in their lives.
Younger people of faith need to be around older people of faith. They need to hear the stories of God's faithfulness in generations past.
When we don't have the cross-generational conversations then we are in danger of forgetting God's faithfulness.
Throughout the story of the people of God we are told to remember. Often there are these moments where physical reminders are crafted to force the question. Of course to remember demands that we are intentional to hold on to the good and the beautiful things that God has done. We are to reminisce and share the stories otherwise they will get forgotten.
It is these stories of God's faithful past that help us hold on to hope in the midst of the difficult present that we inevitably find ourselves in.
The question I'm pondering today is this, “Am I intentional in my relationships with those older and younger so that through them I might embrace hope?”
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November 2, 2023
Romans 2:17-29
“You can get by with almost anything if you front it with eloquent talk about God and his law.”
This passage in Romans is one that I think about often. I have come to the conclusion that for those of us Christians in the United States, particularly, should likely find our parallels with the Jewish people that Paul addresses more so than the Gentiles. Why? Because we are the people who have largely grown up with the Bible and religion and God-talk.
When I read myself as the religious person in Romans 2, I can almost hear the record scratch.
Over the years I have become an expert at God-talk. I read and study the Bible. I read and study theology. It is what I do. As a result, there is a constant temptation to simply God-wash anything I want.
Particularly in today's cultural milieu if I simply use the right words and phrases I could get away with just about anything.
Our Christian culture cares so much more about words than it does about the content of our character. I recently saw a quote from a famous pastor that said, in effect, all that matters is our words. Say the right words and how you live your life doesn't matter.
As I reflect today on my life I am struck by how flippantly I have used phrases that God-wash actions and ideas that I want to be true or OK.
Here's the question I'm meditating on today, “Is God's word changing me from the inside or am I using God's word to keep me from changing?”
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Silence Is Scary
Entering into silence can spiritually form us
There's only a few sermons that I've heard that I remember. As I write that I want to make sure you understand what I'm not saying, I'm not saying that sermons are unimportant. I think they are very important. The sermons I remember are likely not sermons that someone else remembers. They are moments in time that God uses in the lives of people.
There was one sermon in particular that my friend, Doug, gave a number of years ago. He was talking about how noisy the world is and how quiet God's voice can be. All during the message he had an iPod playing very quietly and then at the end he had us all get quiet and all of a sudden you could hear the music.
This shook me.
I am a noisy person.
When I enter a space I do so loudly. In social settings you know where I'm at all times. It's not that I'm trying to be the center of attention, I'm just loud. My voice carries and so does my laugh.
It is not just my outward presence that is loud. My interior life is loud too. As I grew up I always had a TV on or music playing. When I sat down to do homework the TV had to be running. When I was in seminary I wrote and researched and studied in busy coffee shops, intentionally.
For most of my life I have not liked the quiet. When things get quiet my thoughts get loud. I am not necessarily a big fan of those thoughts all the time. It can be disconcerting for me to allow my thoughts to run rampant.
Silence is scary.
This past summer I took two nights to just get away for a silent retreat. I shut down my phone. I didn't listen to music (well, that's a whole story in and of itself). I did allow myself to listen to a baseball game while I ate dinner.
I was alone in a cabin.
I went hiking alone in the silence and solitude of nature.
Leading up to these two nights away I was in a state of high anxiety because I was worried about being silent and alone for those 48 hours. I had never been a lone, truly alone, for that length of time.
Silence is scary.
I wish I could say that I heard the audible voice of the divine during my retreat. I did not. I also wish I could say that there was some sort of profound awakening that I experienced. But, I did not.
What did happen is that I faced my fear of silence.
It took almost a solid 24 hours for my mind quiet down. To really and truly be able to focus my attention on something other than my own thoughts. When that happened it was the most remarkable thing.
My mind could finally focus.
I was reading in the book of Jeremiah and some other commentaries that I brought along with me. I devoured the text.
Even more interesting was during my time hiking I was meditating on the Lord's prayer a stanza at a time. As I did, in that silence, those lines came to life for me. I do not really know how to explain it, but it was like I had never experienced them before.
Ever since then, something has happened within me. I have begun to delight in silence.
In the mornings I awake around 6 am-ish and drink coffee in the quiet dark house. It's become my favorite part of the day. I used to have a compulsion to turn on SportsCenter or something else. But now, my day begins with about 90 minutes to 2 hours of almost total silence.
Silence isn't scary anymore.
Silence has become a gift.
It is in the silence where I am learning to meet God.
I suppose there's a reason that silence has been a significant part of spiritual formation for many in the Christian tradition. I need silence now like I need water to drink or air to breathe. I can tell when I haven't had enough silence. My mind runs and spins and sleep is hard to come by.
It is in the silence where freedom from the weight of the world is offered and received.
When was the last time you were silent? What's stopping you? What do you think might happen if you entered into silence?
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November 1, 2023
Psalm 34:1-10, The Message
“Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him. When I was desperate, I called out, and GOD got me out of a tight spot.”
When I'm going through something heavy or hard I often think, “Why am I feeling this way? Compared to what so many others are going through this is nothing.”
Often, when I feel like this, I will not pray because I don't want to burden God or in some sense I think that these feelings are not worthy to be brought to God.
One of the first things that I learned in my young Christian life was that feelings don't matter. They are nothing more than the caboose of a train that is driven by the fact of God's word and faith. This left me in a state where I was constantly trying to hide, stuff, or in so many other ways ignore my feelings.
That was so misguided. The idea that our feelings are nothing and they don't matter to God is such an unhelpful and unbiblical idea. This might be one of the most destructive things that I have had to undo as I have matured in my journey of faith.
I love this line, “Never hide your feelings from him.” God cares about our feelings. God can handle all our emotions, big and small.
As I ponder these verses it strikes me that the psalmist probably saw or experienced God's hand getting him out of a tight spot because he had brought all his feelings to God. By not hiding, the psalmist was open to seeing how God was at work in the world.
The question I am going to be wrestling with today is this, “Am I hiding my feelings or my internal life from God?”
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October 31, 2023
James 2:14-18
“Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?”
I have a friend whose favorite saying is, “acta non verba,” this translates to “actions not words.” He's one of those people who will do anything for you. His actions clearly demonstrate that the words he uses have meaning.
Many of us are good talkers.
We know the right things to say. But what about our actions? How often do you promise to do something but then don't follow through?
I want to say that never happens to me, but it does. It probably occurs more often than I'd like to admit. Oh sure, I have a good “reason,” but the reality is that it's just an excuse.
It is really hard for me to admit that.
There's a really helpful book about the rise of the church in the Roman Empire entitled, The Patient Ferment of the Early Church by Alan Kreider. In it he writes about how the verb, “look,” was central to the practice of the early church. Kreider argues, convincingly I think, that we have lost this idea of a new way of living in the world.
Perhaps, we could sum up much of the modern church as a lot of God-talk and not much God-acts.
Perhaps, I could sum up much of my own life this way.
—
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October 30, 2023
Psalm 119:41-48
“Let your love, God, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised...”
Last night we were talking about Paul's call to go to Jerusalem and how he understood his obedience to that call would result in seeing God work. One of the things that came out of conversation was this desire that we would have as clear a call as Paul did. How nice would it be to really know what our calling is?
The fact of the matter is that we do know what our calling is.
It's clear.
Our calling is to love our neighbor as our self.
At the most fundamental of levels this is our calling.
Then this morning I read this little passage with this opening line, “Let your love, God, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised...”
Oh what a prayer!
I'm wrestling this morning with this simple and profound thought, “How does my life look differently if God's love has shaped it?”
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October 28, 2023
John 5:39-47
“You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”
As I continue to read and study the Bible I am more convinced than ever that much of what Jesus said to the religious leaders of his day are the things that I need to hear.
John 5:39-40 is case in point.
I study the Bible, religiously (teehee). It is, quite literally, part of my job description. But, am I missing the forest for the trees? Am I seeing the reality that everything is about Jesus?
More than that, am I willing to receive from Jesus the life I say I want?
Ouch.
That is a punch in the gut.
That hits a bit too close to home.
The life I say I want is one of love, grace, mercy, and joy. It's one that is marked by the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. It is one where the burdens of life are eased by being deeply connected to Christ.
Do I really want that?
Because when I'm real honest about myself it sure doesn't seem to be true. I am given over to easy anger, rage, and frustration. Stress and snark are hand in hand.
Jesus is in a way standing right here in front of me. Will I receive the life he is offering or will I continue to just hold on as tightly as I can to the life that I say I don't want?
The question I'm wrestling with today is, “Am I willing to receive from Jesus the life I say I want?”
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October 27, 2023
Psalm 90:1-6
“Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.”
This beautiful line is from Psalm 90:1. I grabbed my attention and I keep thinking about it. This concept of God being our dwelling place.
I too often think about God as someone far off or disconnected. Yet, here the Psalmist calls me to consider the reality that it is in God where we will dwell.
The dwelling place in the ancient world was important because it provided protection and security. In effect, the Psalmist is saying, “Lord, you have been our protection and security throughout all generations.
In my world, security and protection is something that I have to earn. It's not something that I consciously trust God to provide. Oh sure, the words will come out. But, at the end of the day I often think that security and protection is the result of my own effort.
I wonder if some of the rampant fear that is present in our world is the result of people no longer believing that God protects and secures? We need weapons and power and money to feel protected and secure these days.
But do we?
What if we set our minds and hearts on the God who is our dwelling place and has been throughout all generations?
The question I will be pondering tonight as I lay in bed is, “Do I trust that God will protect and provide for me?”
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Prayer Doesn't Change God
Prayer is something so difficult for me to get my mind around. As I think about praying it raises so many, many questions.
If God is sovereign why pray? Why doesn't God answer my prayers? Why don't I hear God when I pray? What value is there to praying? Why did that person get healed and that one didn't? Why did that prayer have “results” and that one didn't? Does prayer do anything?
And so many, many more.
I often think of prayer in the context of utility. Quite simply, “does it work?”
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As far as I can tell Jesus' closest followers only asked to be taught one thing, how to pray.
How did Jesus respond?
“He said to them, “When you pray, say: “‘Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.’” (Luke 11:2-4)
Short. Focused. To the point.
Elsewhere talking about prayer Jesus said,
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matthew 6:5-8)
What are we to make of these things?
—
Throughout the history of religious people prayer has always played a significant role. I remember in seminary reading about the desert fathers and mothers and how prayer was central. Or learning about the monastic movement and the important role of prayer for these people.
Every week I pray a “pastoral prayer” and a prayer of invocation and a prayer over the offering. I pray before I preach and after I preach. I pray before meals. I pray before I write. I pray before I spend time in the Scriptures. I prayer before I meet with people. I pray during my devotional times.
As I think about it, I pray quite a bit.
Yet, I wouldn't consider myself a pray-er.
—
My friend John, he was a pray-er. After he died his wife passed out index cards that he kept on hand that tracked what he was praying for for his friends.
Prayer was central to his spiritual life.
I know of many people for whom prayer is significant to their lives and spirituality.
My mentor, Bob, is a pray-er. He prays like his life depends on it. There is a qualitative difference between his prayer and my prayer.
I think I often pray as someone who has to pray as opposed to wanting to pray. I think this is because I can't quite figure out prayer. It doesn't fit my intellectual boxes.
Perhaps it's similar from the opening lines of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller when he wrote, “I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve.”
—
He goes on to write, “But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.”
When I see people like Bob or John pray, I want to love prayer the way they do. These guys have and do show me the way.
Yet, I struggle.
—
I have found lately that simply praying the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples has helped me. Often I will find myself meditating on the words. Or the words will just come into my mind as I drive or walk.
When this happens I feel something in me.
I feel a connection to the divine. It's faint. But it's there.
I am coming to grips with an idea that I first heard about in the film Shadowlands. It's a film about C.S. Lewis and his relationship with his wife, Joy. Near the end of the film there is this line, “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time – waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God- it changes me.”
The idea that I'm coming to grips with is this: I'm helpless.
That's not easy for me.
I think of myself as strong. I think of myself as someone who rarely needs anything. Yet, if I am honest, truly honest, I am helpless.
—
“Prayer doesn't change God—it changes me.”
As I continue to learn to pray, I am learning that this ethereal, surreal, intangible practice of seeking to be in the presence of the divine changes me.
It's not a utilitarian practice. It's something deeper than that. It's experiential.
I long to be able to speak that line from the film and mean it. I long to pray because the need flows out of me all the time – waking and sleeping.
—
Perhaps, as I grow in my desperation to desire to pray I will someday learn to pray.
—
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October 26, 2023
Jeremiah 3
“I'm committed in love to you.”
I'm really grateful that my kids and I have never had a falling out. I can't really imagine the pain that would cause. Being estranged from my children is probably my greatest fear. I don't even want to think about it.
As a pastor, I have spent a lot of time talking through things with people who are estranged from their children or parents. The heartache of those broken relationships is indescribable. It is really trendy these days to talk about how your parents and sibilings are people you don't need in your life, yet nobody really means it. When our relationships with parent, children, or siblings are broken it is devastating. Some times those relationships need to be broken because of abuse, and while healthy, it is no less devastating.
That's the thing.
When it comes to these relationships, that are the closest to us and most intimate, the breaking of them, even when it is necessary, leaves a wound that is not easily healed.
—
As I read through Jeremiah 3 this morning it struck me that the imagery that is used is one of a Father and children who have been estranged. There is a clear desire on both of their parts to reunite. Yet, the wound is so severe that there seems to be little hope.
This line, “I'm committed in love to you,” is a beacon of hope in an otherwise painful and horrific passage of Scripture.
There is no desire on God's part to punish. The desire is for restoration. The desire is for healing.
Why?
Because God is committed in love.
There's a section in verse 19 where God talks about how God has planned what God would say if the people came back. It demonstrates this desire for re-connection.
If my children and I were estranged, I think that I would feel exactly the same way.
—
The question I'm wrestling with today is this, “How does it make me feel to know that God is committed in love to me?”
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October 25, 2023
Jeremiah 2:29-37
“Day after day after day they never give me a thought.”
Typically when our family starts out on a road trip we say a prayer. We pray that God would get us to where we are going safely. We genuinely pray. We are earnest. There is a desire on our part to entrust the drive to God and we want to arrive safely.
As far as I can tell God has answered every one of these prayers by getting us to and fro safely.
I can only think of twice when we thanked God for getting us there safely. Both times were when we experienced really bad weather. The times that the trips were uneventful, I don't think we acknowledged God's hand at all.
—
When we are going through difficult seasons we often wonder, “where is God?” One of the writers of the psalms cries out to God asking God to “wake up!” When things are going bad we think about God all the time.
It's odd, when things are going pretty well we don't think about God much at all.
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In Jeremiah 2:29-37 God calls out the people for not ever giving God a thought.
I find that strange because the people were practicing Temple worship. They were making sacrifices and celebrating the feasts. They were hearing the scrolls read. God-talk was everywhere and all the time.
Yet, God says, that they never thought about God.
As a pastor I use a lot of God-talk, all the time. I read the Scriptures. I pray the prayers. I preach the sermons.
But do I think about God?
Perhaps what God is saying here is not some sort of intellectual exercise regarding God but is talking about the way that I think about those people in my life whom I love.
I think about my wife and kids a lot. I wonder what they're doing right now? Are they having fun? What kinds of conversations are they having? I am *intrigued by the lives of those I love.
The question I'm wrestling with today is, “Am I intrigued by the life of God?”
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October 24, 2023
Jeremiah 2:20-28
“How do you account for what is written in the desert dust...”
I had a dentist appointment yesterday. I despise going to the dentist. Every time they take my blood pressure and every time it's just above normal. They always ask if that's normal. My response, “only when I'm here.”
As a child my experience with the dentist was not very good. I suppose that's true of just about every Gen X kid. Our dentists were more akin to the dentist played by Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors than they were some kind person. So, I'm pretty sure that I have some deep-seated embodied dentist trauma that shows itself in my blood pressure at that god-forsaken place.
Whenever you go to the dentist they ask, “Are your teeth bothering you? Are you brushing? Are you flossing?”
I answer honestly, “No, they are fine. Yes I brush. I try to floss regularly but it's a habit I haven't developed yet.”
This time the dentist said, “Well, at least you're honest. You'd be surprised how many people try to lie about it.”
There's no point in lying about flossing. You can't hide whether or not you're doing it. The evidence is clear as the teeth in your mouth.
—
It strikes me this morning that the same is true in our relationship with God. This passage from Jeremiah is a hard read. The people of God are being chastised for following after the fertility deities of other nations. The language is, let's say, discomforting, at best.
Yet, there's this line, “How do you account for what is written in the desert dust...”
The people tried to lie about their pursuit of these foreign Gods but God says that there's no point because the evidence is written in the dust. Their tracks to and fro are obvious.
—
Our lives demonstrate what we are most focused on. We can hide or fake for a time but soon enough the truth will come out. Eventually everyone will see our tracks in the desert dust.
I'm wrestling with this question today, “What tracks am I leaving in the desert dust?”
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October 23, 2023
Jeremiah 2:4-19
“But my people have traded my Glory for empty god-dreams and silly god-schemes.”
It was the late nineties and I was working hard at raising support to join the staff of a campus ministry. This particular man that I was connecting with took me to a gathering of people from his church to introduce me to them. As we were driving he was explaining to me that the day of small churches was over. He said that little churches would soon be swallowed up by the biggest churches in the area because the large churches had power and resources that small churches could only dream about.
It's more than twenty years later and it turns out that his prediction was wrong.
For a while, I thought that he was perhaps correct. But, then the mega-church paradigm began to implode. Scandal after scandal. Pastor after pastor has fallen.
Small churches are not immune from this either.
As I read about colleagues falling and ministries breaking down it appears to me that there is a common thread. Jeremiah might call it “empty god-dreams and silly god-schemes.”
The American church has entangled itself with power and consumerism. In so doing it has sold its soul, in a sense, to a modern day Baal.
As a pastor there is a constant and never ending pull towards bigger and better. I feel it in my soul. It's an illness.
But then I read about what has happened in the past when the people of God have sold their souls for empty god-dreams and silly god-schemes and I am reminded that I don't need to trust anything else. I can rest in the goodness of God. As Paul says in his farewell to the Ephesian Elders God is incredibly and extravagantly generous.
The question I will be meditating on today is this, “Will I scheme for success or will I rest in God's grace?”
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October 20, 2023
Jeremiah 2:1-3
“I remember your youthful loyalty, our love as newlyweds.”
We road trip pretty much everywhere. Mostly because we like having our car available to us wherever it is we go. But, also because we are pretty cheap and renting a car is ridiculously expensive.
There is a pattern to our long road trips. We begin with great enthusiasm. There are abundant snacks, everyone is fresh, and everyone is excited to get to where we are going. About two hours in it gets quiet. Then at about four hours the grumbling begins from the driver's seat. Then legs start getting stiff. The snacks don't sound good. Everyone is bored. Everyone is beginning to think, “Flying would have been better.”
But, then we get to the destination!
When we arrive the joy is palpable! Not only to get out of the car but the hope for fun and relaxation.
I think that the spiritual journey is similar. When we get started in our spiritual lives there is joy and exuberance. It's almost like being a newlywed.
But, like any journey it gets long and difficult.
The fun wears out. It's not exciting any longer. It's just a long slog. There's no end in sight.
What do we do? How do we respond? Will we stick to God?
The question that I'm going to be pondering today, “What do I need to do to continually find refreshment in my spiritual journey?”
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October 19, 2023
Jeremiah 1:11-19
“And God said, 'Good eyes! I'm sticking with you...'”
This passage is not what I would call comforting. God is telling Jeremiah what his message is going to be and that he needs to stand firm in speaking this message. The message is going to be hard. This is part of the pulling up and tearing down that was described to him earlier in his conversation with God.
I have to imagine that Jeremiah probably felt his stomach hurt a little bit.
As I was thinking about this passage memories of difficult conversations ran through my head. Conversations that I knew I needed to have but sure didn't want to have. I always get really nervous before those meetings. I can feel it in my body. My heart beats a little faster, my palms sweat a bit, it's a palpable anxiety.
I can't even begin to imagine the feeling that Jeremiah must have had.
But, then he hears from God, “I'm sticking with you.”
This idea of the God-With-Me-God is pervasive throughout Jeremiah's story and it starts right here.
God-With-Me-God, I think has to be one of the most encouraging ideas to come out of the story of the Bible.
When Jesus enters the scene he is called, Emmanuel, God-with-us.
As I consider the differences between the Old and New Testaments that is one of the significant shifts that I notice, the move from me to us after God-With. The story of the Old Testament is marked by an understanding of the God-With-Me-God and the story of the New Testament is marked by an understanding of the God-With-Us-God. God is not different. But in the New Testament we begin to understand that God is most fully known in community.
I am pondering this question today, “Do I believe that as I draw near to others, I am in effect, drawing near to God?”
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