Note: This text based post is very much a summary. To hear my full exposition, grab a couple cups of coffee and listen to here: Lives Hidden With Christ - Grounded
As we turn to this passage in Colossians, we are coming down from some of the highest Christology and richest theology in the letter. Paul has been painting a sweeping vision of who Christ is and what it means for our lives to be “hidden with Christ.” Last week we ended with this summary statement:
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:17)
That verse naturally raises a question: What does that actually look like in real life? How does this grand theology land in the ordinary places where we live every day?
Paul’s answer is surprisingly concrete. He takes this vision and applies it to the most intimate setting of daily life: the household.
For some readers—ancient and modern alike—this is where the tension begins.
A Difficult Passage, Then and Now
Colossians 3:18–4:1 is one of those passages that makes pastors sweat a little. It raises questions. It frustrates modern readers. And my answers, at times, may feel unsatisfying.
But that discomfort is important.
These verses must be read in context, both literary and historical. They come at the end of everything Paul has already said about identity in Christ, about dying and rising with Jesus, about putting on a new way of life. And they were written by a real person, living in a particular time and place, addressing real social structures that existed in the first-century world.
Just as importantly, this passage was not easy for Paul’s original audience either. It was challenging, subversive, and unsettling—but in different ways than it is for us.
With that in mind, let’s turn to the text.
The Text: Colossians 3:18–4:1
Paul addresses three pairs within the household:
- Wives and husbands
- Children and fathers
- Slaves and masters
These are often called household codes, a common form of moral instruction in the Greco-Roman world. Philosophers frequently wrote about how households should function, because the household was seen as the foundation of society.
But Paul’s version is doing something very different.
Wives and Husbands: Love That Subverts Power
Paul begins:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Let’s start with husbands.
The word Paul uses for “love” is agapē—a self-sacrificial, others-first love. This was radical in the Roman world. As far as we know, no secular household code from this period ever commanded husbands to love their wives this way.
Roman husbands were expected to control their households, not sacrifice themselves for them.
Paul turns that expectation upside down. Christian husbands are called to put their wives’ needs above their own, to love with gentleness rather than harshness. This reframes authority entirely. Strength is no longer expressed through domination, but through self-giving love.
Then Paul turns to wives and uses the word submit. That word understandably causes discomfort for modern readers, often because we associate submission with passivity, coercion, or abuse.
But the Greek word (hypotassō) does not mean blind obedience. It carries the sense of voluntarily offering oneself, of giving appropriate respect. Notice that Paul says, “submit yourselves.” This assumes agency.
Read in the context of the couplet, the picture becomes clearer. Wives are called to come alongside husbands who are already committed to loving them sacrificially. This is not a call to endure abuse or domination. It is a vision of mutual devotion shaped by Christ.
In Ephesians, Paul makes this explicit by calling believers to “submit to one another.” Christian marriage, in Paul’s vision, is not about hierarchy—it is about shared life under Christ.
Children and Fathers: Authority Without Discouragement
Next, Paul addresses children and fathers:
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Here Paul uses a different word—obey—rather than submit. Children are called to obedience, rooted in their relationship to Christ.
But notice how Paul addresses fathers. In the Roman world, fathers had nearly absolute authority. Children were often treated as economic assets rather than as people to be nurtured.
Paul pushes back against that. Fathers are warned not to crush their children’s spirits, not to provoke discouragement. He is calling fathers to emotional care, gentleness, and attentiveness—another deeply subversive move.
In our culture, fathers are often portrayed as either buffoons or tyrants. Paul offers a better vision: fathers as steady, loving presences who give their hearts to their children and reflect the love of Christ.
Slaves and Masters: Subversion from Within
Finally, Paul addresses slaves and masters—a section that may trouble modern readers the most.
Paul does not explicitly call for the abolition of slavery here, and that can feel deeply frustrating. But we must remember the historical context. Slavery was an unquestioned economic reality of the first-century world. For Paul to denounce it outright would not have been heard as prophetic, it would have been dismissed as incoherent.
Instead, Paul undermines the institution from within.
He tells slaves that their ultimate master is Christ, that their work has dignity and meaning beyond their circumstances, and, astonishingly, that they will receive an inheritance from the Lord. In Roman society, slaves never received inheritances. Paul gives hope where none existed.
Then he turns to masters and says something extraordinary:
“Provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.”
In other words: you are not as powerful as you think. Before Christ, masters are no more than slaves themselves.
Paul levels the ground beneath everyone’s feet.
The Bigger Picture: Lives Hidden with Christ
Throughout this passage, Paul is not endorsing oppressive systems. He is reshaping relationships by placing Christ at the center.
Whether in marriage, parenting, or economic life, the guiding question remains the same:
Are we living as people whose lives are hidden with Christ?
For those with power, that means self-sacrificial love.
For those without power, it means faithful witness and trust in the Lord who sees and rewards.
Paul grounds the gospel in the most personal places of life, reminding us that following Jesus is not abstract—it is deeply relational.
A Question for Reflection
So here is the challenge Paul leaves us with:
-
Am I loving my spouse as though I am loving Christ?
-
Am I parenting, or honoring my parents, as though I am serving Christ?
-
Am I working, leading, or following as though my true master is Jesus?
In everything, in word or deed, are we doing it in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him?
That is the vision Paul sets before us.
And it is still challenging us today.