Nearly eighteen months ago our family did something crazy.

CRAZY I TELL YOU!

It was crazy if you asked anyone but the four of us living in this home. We invited my Mom, our kids Mimi, to come and stay with us. She is a retired teacher who has given her life serving others, not the least of which are her three sons, three daughter-in-laws, and five grandchildren. Nearly two years ago it became apparent that her apartment would no longer be sustainable. The rent in her area was skyrocketing. A teacher’s pension just could not keep up. So, she swallowed her pride, we moved into the guest room, and she set up home in our master bedroom: Mimi’s Suite.

As this unfolded we had many people who worried. They were afraid that this would ruin our relationship.

We weren’t. Not even a little bit.

Growing up, my mom taught us that when people you love were in need you helped them. You helped them in any way that you could. Her mom, my Mimi, taught her that. When I was in high school we had to move out of our house due to a major water leak. Where did we move? We moved our four person family into my Mimi’s two bedroom apartment.

Surely we could move one person into a four bedroom home.

She has now moved out. Mom bought a beautiful little condo and is happy as can be.

Our family? We have a Mimi shaped hole in our lives now. While most feared that this would ruin relationships, this time did the opposite. It deepened them in ways that we would have never expected. There was much laughter. There were amazing evening conversations. My mom got to see and experience first hand The Antioch Movement, our church plant in Ypsilanti. Libby and Mimi would sew, cook, and cuddle. She passed on much to her granddaughter that she will never forget. Ethan and Mimi laughed and played and Ethan ATE well. He got those special moments with her that most grandsons never get and wish they could have had. Amy and Mimi developed an ever deeper mutual respect as two strong women who know their hearts and minds. They taught one another and challenged each other to be a little better.

Me and mom? We discovered that we were both adults. We learned how to speak truth in love to one another. I watched as she helped run kids and never complained. She embraced her role as Mimi in a totally new way. There were days when we ran her ragged, yet she kept smiling and laughing. I realized that there is great power in a generous smile and a gentle ear. These are two qualities that she has in spades. I knew that, but seeing it up close and personal was remarkable.

Our Mimi shaped hole will be filled with brief moments in the days to come. But they will be just that, moments.

from The Subversive Journey https://danielmrose.com/2016/07/21/when-mom-moves-out/

via IFTTT

Have you ever had a friend come up to you and quietly say, “Hey man, you have a booger hanging out…”? When they do that you know you have a true friend. Why? Because they are kind.

Kindness is something we want in our friends. We don’t want niceness. A nice person would try to ignore the booger, the kind friend would tell you the truth.

That’s the key difference between being kind and nice. A nice person will think, “oh man they have a booger, I don’t want them to feel bad so I will ignore it.” The kind person acts from compassion and makes sure you don’t walk around all day with that booger hanging on.

In Colossians 3 the Apostle Paul is trying to help us understand our new identity, who we are in Christ. He first tells us that we are chosen, holy, and beloved. Then he calls us to have compassion hearts. The next attribute he cites is kindness.

Kindness is the loving application of truth to a person or situation. It requires a person to speak truthfully into the life of another, but it is done from a place of compassion. When truth is applied through compassion (or you could easily say, love) it brings healing and offers the other person grace and mercy.

When we act kindly we are acting out in love. To be kind is to act. To be kind is to engage. To be kind is speak the truth in love.

What would happen if you began to live this way? What would happen if we began to live this way? If we could begin loving well through acting kindly we might just change the world.

For the follower of Jesus to be kind is not something we do once in a while. Kindness it to be a mark of our very being. There will be times when kindness is not what people want. They will reject you because of it.

Doctors face this all the time. If their patient is obese or smokes or is an alcoholic they have to give them truth. The doctor has to tell them what they don’t want to hear: eat less, stop smoking, stop drinking. The patients often times get angry or frustrated. Yet, the doctor has to speak this truth into their lives so that they can live and be healthy.

So it is in all of our relationships. We are to put on kindness as followers of Jesus and live the truth of this out every single day.

The next time you see someone with a booger in their nose, be kind.

from The Subversive Journey https://danielmrose.com/2016/06/21/to-be-kind/

via IFTTT

One of the great joys that I have in my job is flexibility. This means that I get to drive my kids around to their stuff. I also get to take their friends with us. As a result, I am in on a lot of the conversations that they are having. They are hilarious! When I was a kid we used to “dare”, “double dare”, “double dog dare”, “triple dare”, and finally “triple dog dare.” Today’s boys simply look deep into one another’s souls and say, “Bruh, you aren’t even cut enough to…”

When someone tells you aren’t “cut enough” that’s dropping a serious “triple dog dare” on them. You either put your tail between your legs and admit defeat or you go for it.

In Colossians 3:12–17 Paul lays out who we as Christians are to be. Who we are is based in the reality that we are chosen, holy, and beloved. How amazing is that? I mean think about that for half of a second. Our identity is not shaped by rules, laws, or fear of punishment. Our identity is based in God’s love for us. That in and of itself is mind boggling.

The first attribute he calls us to is to put on “compassionate hearts.” What does that mean? That sounds pretty soft, especially for men. We often think of compassion as something that women have. Not many men would naturally look at themselves and say that they are seeking to be compassionate. So what exactly is a compassionate heart?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines compassion this way, “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.”

From the outset we are to be others centered. The Christian, in the core of who they are, is to be one who is conscious of another’s pain and desires to act. Compassion requires great strength. It is not something that is for the weak or soft. Compassion demands from us action to step into the brokenness of the world to bind up the wounded.

This little phrase that Paul uses, “compassionate hearts” is very purposeful by including the word “heart.” The heart is the center of our being. Who we are is changed by our relationship with Jesus. A compassionate heart, a state of being, that drives us to care for and alleviate suffering is our new normal. It isn’t “radical”, it is normal.

When you see suffering what is your response? Do you want to alleviate it? Do you care? Do you want to step into the brokenness of this world and set things right? These are all signs of a person with a compassionate heart.

If you call yourself a follower of Jesus, have you put on the compassionate heart?

Are you cut enough to be compassionate?

from The Subversive Journey https://danielmrose.com/2016/06/20/are-you-cut-enough/

via IFTTT

When my brothers and I were growing up we were felt like we were held to a different standard. We would complain to our mom or dad and say, “But Johnny can say/do/act etc…” or “But Johnny doesn’t have to…” The response was always the same, “You don’t belong to Johnny’s family. You belong to our family. Your last name means something. When you’re outside of this house you represent the Roses and McGraths.” We were held to a different standard. We were held to the standard that our parents set because we were part of their family.

As a pastor I am around Christians much of the time. I have often found many of my brothers and sisters to be mean spirited folks. It always startles me. When I see them on social media they say nasty things to one another and also to those outside the faith. Typically, it is in the name of “speaking truth.” When I see these interactions, whether in person or online, I hear my mom’s voice, “That’s not how our family acts.”

Many people in the Church bemoan the “bad reputation” that Christians have in today’s media and culture. I think it’s often because we have forgotten who we are. We have washed away the demands of our faith and the expectations of what it means to be a part of this family. We have more closely aligned with political affiliations, both left and right, as opposed to our family. Our Father has a standard for his children and we need to remember what they are.

The Apostle Paul summarizes these expectations and standards in Colossians 3:12–17,

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

(Colossians 3:12–17 ESV)

You probably skipped over reading the Scripture (because let’s be honest, many of us do in blogs and probably books too (who reads books anymore?)) so I am going to list them out for us:

Because we are God’s chosen ones who are holy and beloved we are to put on:

Compassionate hearts.

Kindness.

Humility.

Meekness.

Patience — bearing with one another.

Forgiving one another as the Lord forgives us (think about the ramifications of this one!).

Above all put on love.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

Be thankful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

Teach and admonish one another in wisdom.

Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness t God.

Do everything in the name of Jesus, giving thanks.

That’s quite a list. It’s hard to live that list out. We won’t do it perfectly. That doesn’t mean though that we just throw our hands up and say, “Oh well…grace.” The “one another” statements above call us to engage with our siblings and invite them to the standard of bearing the family name. As we do, we will grow in grace.

Over the next number of days, I am going to unpack each of the things in this list. Perhaps they will serve as helpful reminders for each of us and what it means to bear the family name, “Christian.”

from The Subversive Journey https://danielmrose.com/2016/05/27/who-are-you/

via IFTTT

There are times when it seems like evil always wins. We read the news and see so much pain and suffering. It feels like bad things are always happening to good people. I find myself wondering when will we see the reverse? When will the good and the righteous finally experience victory?

As I read Psalm 112 this morning I was reminded that the pursuit of righteousness does eventually lead to joy.

“Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;

he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.

It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;

who conducts his affairs with justice.

For the righteous will be never be moved;

he will be remembered forever.

He is not afraid of bad news;

his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.”

Psalm 112:4–7

Even though it seems like darkness is all around us, when we pursue righteousness, the light will dawn.

In particular, I am thinking about the statement that the righteous man “conducts his affairs with justice.” What does this look like? How do we live like this? What does it mean to conduct our affairs with justice? How can we be just in all we do? How do we help others pursue justice? Do we have any influence at all?

As I ponder all this it makes think about something that my friend Todd says often regarding politics. He says that we might not have the ability to influence the whole nation or state or even city. But what we can do, is have an impact on our neighbor.

How do we conduct our affairs with justice? We do so by making small choices every day. These small choices will have a direct impact on our families, friends, and neighbors.

What choices do you need to make today to pursue righteousness and justice?

from The Subversive Journey https://danielmrose.com/2016/05/16/light-dawns-in-the-darkness/

via IFTTT

“At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, peace to all men and women on earth who please him.” — Luke 2:13–14, The Message

This the fourth week of Advent is when we light the Angel’s candle which points us to peace. Peace is what was proclaimed by the these messengers from heaven as they glorified God at the announcement of the birth of Jesus. This same Jesus would, in a few years say, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.”

We live in a tumultuous world. The news is filled with pain and suffering and death. There are wars and rumors of wars. The very creation itself seems to be at unrest as earthquakes and tsunamis and hurricanes are regular occurrences. When you look at your social media it is much the same only more personal. There is little in our world that points toward peace.

Peace is the message that the follower of Jesus proclaims. In Ephesians 6 we are told to put on the shoes of peace to help us stand firm. This message of peace is foundational to who we are. Yet, we live in this time when to be a peacemaker or to cry out for peace is considered weakness.

Peace.

As we make the final dash toward Christmas morning, perhaps your life is like mine, lacking in some peace. We have a great deal of shopping left. Which means that we have even more wrapping left. The list of to-dos only seems to grow and grow. The kids are home from school so there are extra people around. There are more demands on time and energy than seems possible.

Peace.

Recently I’ve been thinking about Jesus’ stories about people missing out on things because they were too distracted. They weren’t ready because of all the stuff going on around them and they simply missed it.

How much of Christmas do we miss because we aren’t at peace?

Have you ever had that experience where someone made a promise to you and then they came through? What did you feel like? What if that promise came years and years earlier and was fulfilled when you were least expecting it? You would probably be filled with utter joy.

This is what the third week of Advent is all about.

The third week is when we light the “Shepherds Candle” which represents joy. Could you imagine being one of the young shepherds that evening? For your whole life you’ve heard the stories of Messiah coming from your father and grandfather. Now you’re out there trying to stay warm while you watch over your family’s flock, this thing that you do every night.

Then…

The skies explode in light and angels appear telling you that Messiah has come and where to find him! Your heart is bursting with excitement and you run.

When you get there, you find it exactly as the angels say it would be.

Promise fulfilled.

Overwhelming joy and proclamation.

On this this the third week of advent, we light the third candle, the pink one because light has overcome darkness.

Do you share the joy of the shepherds? A joy that demands proclamation that the Messiah has come?

This might tap your “joyful” muscle…

[youtube [www.youtube.com/watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaEH1e_DLm0?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque&w=540&h=304])

Did you know that there was a “War on Christmas”?

Seriously, there’s a “War on Christmas”.

It’s occurring in most churches. It breaks out in many hearts this time of year. Christmas is when we go out and buy friends and family lots of gifts. We spend lots of money on things people don’t need and some don’t even really want. A few of us even go to church on Christmas Eve and that makes us feel spiritual about spending all that money.

When you look around at everything that we are inundated with every single day it’s clear what Christmas is all about. It’s about giving and receiving stuff.

The war that is happening is happening in each heart. Some are uncomfortable with the battle that is happening in their heart and so they look for an enemy on the outside. That’s when some go to “war” with the “world”. Bemoaning the fact that “Christmas” parties at schools have become “Holiday” parties or that “Christmas” is written as “Xmas”. They think this is the “War on Christmas”.

The real war on Christmas is what happens in our hearts every day throughout the year. We are at war with our own selfish and self-centered hearts. We battle within and it makes us uncomfortable. We don’t like to feel that way. When we are faced with those realities we can do one of two things. We can either embrace them, confess, and repent or we can stuff them and project.

Based on what I see in the media and news, I think most of us are stuffing and projecting.

The War on Christmas is not being perpetrated by “those” people, whomever they are. It is being perpetrated by us, whomever “us” may be. Our own hearts are at war with themselves.

The War on Christmas is real. It’s just not being fought where you think it is.

Originally published on December 11, 2014

The second candle we light in Advent is the “Bethlehem Candle.” It is the reminder of how the Bread of Life came to the House of Bread in humility. Jesus, King of the Universe, did not come to the world by way of power or exceptionalism but by humility. He was born in a hole carved from the side of a rock and his cradle was a hay filled trough.

This King of glory was completely ordinary.

This second week of Advent we consider the ordinariness of the glorious King. A helpless baby born to a young girl on the outskirts of a small town. He was nothing special to the unassuming eye. He was just a baby.

The King of glory was a just a baby.

The King of glory was poor.

The King of glory was nothing to behold.

The King of glory would have been considered to have little worth.

What do we do with such a King? How do we respond? How does this challenge us as we move forward into Bethlehem week?

We live in a world, not unlike the world Jesus was born into, where class and status mean more than just about anything else. We battle for status within the realm of social media, our neighborhoods, our jobs, our schools. Our lives are a constant attempt of “one upping” another.

Humility is something we run from.

What might it look like for me to embrace humility this week? I have been thinking about this for a few days and I’ve come up with something simple. In a conversation, choose to say, “You’re right” or “I don’t know” or “You’ve given me something to think about.” These little phrases begin to move us toward humility.

Humility is something that we have to actively choose to practice in our lives. It is not something that comes to us naturally. It will take work. We will be uncomfortable.

Sort of like lying in a hay filled manger…

If your first instinct is to use a tragedy to further your political preferences there’s a good chance you’re part of the problem.

Sunday night at our gathering we were spending time in Ephesians 4. During our conversation it struck me again how important it is for us to understand the difference between being “kind” and being “nice.”

Verse 32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Paul doesn’t command us to be “nice.” He commands us to be “kind.” This distinction is very important for our relationships. This command to be kind ties back to verse 15, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…”

Kindness differs with niceness by the inclusion of truth. Kindness can be hard and can potentially cause pain.

I asked the congregation what they thought was the difference between being nice and being kind. My son said this, “If your friend’s hair is messed up, the nice thing is to say, ‘Your hair is fine.’ But, the kind thing to say is, ‘Bruh, you need to fix that.’”

Do you see the difference?

If we are going to be kind to one another it means that we must speak the “truth in love” to one another.

We live in an age of “niceness”. Being kind is a foreign concept because kindness may cause offense and causing offense is a great sin in our culture. Sadly, because we are trading kindness for niceness, we are losing much. Many decry the extended adolescence of our culture. This exists in large part due to our loss of kindness.

Because we are no longer kind, speaking the truth in love, we have stunted the maturation of a generation.

“Nice” is not something to sought after. “Kind” is. Kind is loving. Nice is self-serving.

Which do you desire? Do you want people to be “nice” to you or would you rather have people be kind?

Many people love Christmas. There’s a radio station in Detroit that has been playing Christmas tunes 24/7 for a few weeks. Christmas is nostalgic and beautiful. It tells the story of God the Son being born in humility to save the world.

Christmas is great.

But I love Advent!

There is something special about the building excitement and anticipation of the season. The Christian new year begins with the first Sunday of Advent, not with Christmas. This communicates something intriguing about our faith.

Advent plunges us into the already/not yet of our faith.

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent, it is represented by the “Prophecy” candle. We read the following Scripture,

“Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will fulfill the promise I made to the house of Israel and the house of Judah. In those days and at that time I will cause a righteous Branch to spring up for David, and he shall execute justice and righteousness in the land. In those days Judah will be saved, and Jerusalem will dwell securely. And this is the name by which it will be called: ‘The LORD is our righteousness.’

(Jeremiah 33:14–16 ESV)

I am struck by, “the days are coming”. There is a certainty in what the Lord says. There is no doubt about the coming of the “righteous Branch.” King Jesus is coming. We can bank on it.

We live in a time when promises are not often fulfilled. The leaders of our governments tell us things and make promises all the time. But, they do not fulfill them. God’s promises, on the other hand, are sure. There is no doubt.

The first Sunday in Advent is the time when we are reminded of the promise of a savior and how God the father made good on that promise. It is also the Sunday that allows us to renew our faith in the hope of the Return of the King!

The Christian life is one of great tensions. Grace and truth. Mercy and justice. We live in the tension of these great ideas and concepts. Many of our theological debates center on which side is to have priority.

In Ephesians 4:17–32 we see that this tension goes beyond belief. The very actions of the Christ follower is a life in tension. In this section Paul admonishes believers to “put off” their old selves and “put on” the new self. What is fascinating is that the new self is in some ways the old held in tension.

Verses 26 and 27 say this,

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

(Ephesians 4:26–27 ESV)

We often think of anger as being inherently sinful. How can anger be OK? Aren’t we supposed to be nice? You can’t really be both can you? This tension of “be angry and do not sin” is an example of the inherent tension in the Christian life. There is a way to be angry and holy.

The key here is, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” The tension is that of forgiveness. When we hold on to our anger too long it becomes sin and gives “opportunity to the devil.”

Anger apart from grace and forgiveness is not holy, but sin.

Paul summarizes this idea in verse 32,

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

(Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

Notice that Paul says “be kind” and not “be nice.” This is an important distinction. Kindness is imbued with truth. A good physician is not nice, he is kind. A nice physician will put your comfort above your well-being. A kind physician will always place your well-being above your comfort.

Kindness is a tension of truth and grace.

Are you willing to live in tension?

If you’re like me, silence is uncomfortable. Sometimes it is almost unbearable.

When I studied in college I needed noise, so the TV was always on. When I was in grad school, I needed noise, so I studied at the coffee shop.

Now that I’m a pastor, I feel like I need the quiet. But I really struggle with knowing how to be quiet and embrace silence.

These words from Eugene Peterson really struck me this morning,

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

How do you experience quiet?

historical-nonfiction:

Most of us are aware that sports, while supposedly an honorable contest of skills, is often anything but. WWE, for example, is a well-orchestrated show. And they’re just the most obvious about it. Well fixing matches is nothing new. The very first known bribery contract was found in a papyrus dated from the year 267 CE, which was salvaged from Oxyrhynchus, Egypt in 1905. The transcription has been recently deciphered, and as expected the content is quite licentious.

The papyrus details the ‘arrangement’ between two young wrestlers Nicantinous and Demetrius for a grand bout that was to take place in the city of Antinoopolis along the Nile bank. According to the evidence, Demetrius openly agrees to lose the match for a handy bribe of 3,800 drachmas (which was oddly close to the price for buying a donkey)!

Man, I feel like this needs to be an ESPN 30 for 30!