Do you like to learn? I pretend to like to learn. Learning requires me to change. It demands that I do something different from what I used to do. Learning requires me to change my mind, actions, and possibly even beliefs. So, I pretend to like learning. I listen intently and nod my head at appropriate times.

Every once in a while go next level with a well-timed, “Hmmm…”

I’m a master at being a fake learner. Particularly when I know that I know something or that I know that I know more than the other person.

You’re probably a better person than me. Actually, I am confident that you are because if there is something that I know it my own thoughts. Inside me is a darkness that if you knew about it would disgust you. You are probably not like that.

Being a fake learner is really hard when you’re a Christian. To be a Christian is a call to being a learner from the Master. We come to Jesus with nothing and he fills us and changes us through his Spirit. The problem for me is that I know that I come with something and I know that I’m right about all that I know.

When I stare into the face of Jesus through prayer, the Scriptures, and the Church, I’m undone. I realize my emptiness. Begrudgingly I come face to face with my ignorance. The things I was so sure of become mists that I try to grip.

To be a learner demands at least that much. It depends that I repent. The lowest common denominator of being a learner is to repent of my self-indulgent pride.

O my Savior, Help me. I am slow to learn, so prone to forget, so weak to climb;I am in the foothills when I should be on the heights;I am painted by my graceless heart, my prayerless days,my poverty of love,my sloth in the heavenly race,my sullied conscience, my wasted hours,

my unspent opporunities.

I am blind while light shines around me:take the scales from my eyes,

grind to dust the evil heart of unbelief.

Make it my chiefest joy to study thee, meditate on thee,gaze on thee, sit like Mary at they feet, lean like John on they breast,appeal like to they love,

count like Paul all things dung.

Give me increase and progress in graceso that there may bemore decision in my character,more vigour in my purposes, more elevation in my life, more fervor in my devotion,

more constancy in my zeal.

As I have a position in the world, 
keep me from making the world my position;

May I never seek in the creature
what can only be found in the Creator;

Let not faith cease from seeking thee
until it vanishes into sight.

Ride forth in my, thou King of kingsand Lord of lords, that I may live victoriously, and in victory may attain my end.

(From The Valley of Vision, 334–335)

Originally published at danielmrose.com.