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Two Ditches
Psalm 50:1-6; 1 Kings 14:1-18; 1 Timothy 1:12-20
I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were violence and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing—didn’t know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.
For some of us pastors this is something we need to be reminded of regularly. I know I do.
There are two ditches that I find on either side of me as I consider my calling. On the one side is whining. Often, when I meet with colleagues there is a corporate time of whining about our calling and congregations. It's like Mr. Costanza's Festivus comes to church. There is a temptation to fall into a bit of despondency because our callings are related to people. People are never finished and people are always messy. When you never have closure you can get frustrated. This is part of the reason that Eugene Peterson would read The Brothers Karamazov every year. He needed a reminder that people's lives are fascinating.
The other ditch is one of arrogant power. We pastors can develop a bit of a god-complex. There is this sense that we speak for God to God's people and therefore the people ought to obey us. This, unchecked, will of course lead us to a place of spiritual abuse. We often hold our authority over people. When this happens it is ugly and causes serious harm.
Paul had the answer to staying between these two ditches. That is, in a word, gratitude.
Pastors, in my opinion, have the greatest job in the world. We get the opportunity to be part of the life of people. There is a presence we get to have as they learn to live the life of faith. We walk alongside them during the overwhelming joys of weddings and births. We also get to hold people's hands and put our arms around their shoulders during the painful times of their lives. We are always there in the background of their lives.
A simple presence during the good, the bad, and the mundane.
This is a beautiful thing that we are called to.
This calling is all grace.
None of us deserve it.
Each of us called to serve as ministers of the gospel do so by the gracious working of God through Christ.
What an honor! What a responsibility! What an absolute joy!
All by grace.
Oh, that I would consistently see my calling through the lens of gratitude. I need to continue learn this valuable lesson that Paul teaches Timothy here.
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Do You Stink?
Psalm 50:1-6; 1 Kings 11:26-40; 2 Corinthians 2:12-17
Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. >Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is >recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with >life.
I often wonder if this is true of me.
There are few things in this life that I desperately want. When I die, oh how I would love it to be said of me that because of Christ I gave off “an aroma redolent with life.”
So often I find myself staring into the mirror seeing my shortcomings and failings to love well. The lack of love is so easily apparent. Thankfully, there is a grace that knows no bounds that has been offered to me through this Christ whom I seek to follow.
This little passage is such a good reminder that words matter. How we live matters.
It's also a reminder that when we seek to live this way there will be people who won't respond well. They will see the pursuit of love and will find is distasteful, a stench.
But those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse.
How can I be sure that I'm speaking life? How can I know that the words and way I live are honoring and pleasing to Christ?
This is a terrific responsibility. Is anyone competent to take it on? No—but at least we don’t take God’s Word, water it down, and then take it to the streets to sell it cheap. We stand in Christ’s presence when we speak; God looks us in the face. We get what we say straight from God and say it as honestly as we can.
It's that last little bit that jumps at me, “say it as honestly as we can.”
There's no “but” tagged onto the words of Jesus. There's no attempt to package him or mitigate him for our comfort. No, when we are speaking the truth in love it is not going to be a cheap, watered down, Christ. It is going to be the message of the cross and resurrection that is laden with grace, mercy, compassion, empathy, and love.
I suppose this is the means by which I can evaluate myself. Is the way I live and the words I speak bookended with grace and love?
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A Vending Machine or God?
Psalm 102:12-28; Job 6:1-13; Mark 3:7-12
Each morning I share a little morning blessing in my social streams. Nothing big, just a little something that runs through my mind. This morning I shared, “may you choose to be content despite your circumstances.” With this being a Wednesday we can often find ourselves buried by details and tasks. It can be really hard to be content.
But, there's also a bigger picture beyond the small every day stuff. Some of us find ourselves in these difficult situations where it feels like the whole world is closing in on us. Some of it is due to our own decision making and some of it is due to things beyond our control.
Often times when we find ourselves in these situations we turn to God out of desperation.
Like Job we wonder why hasn't God done the things we want him to do on our behalf.
The arrows of God Almighty are in me, poison arrows—and I’m poisoned all through! God has dumped the whole works on me. Donkeys bray and cows moo when they run out of pasture— so don’t expect me to keep quiet in this. Do you see what God has dished out for me? It’s enough to turn anyone’s stomach! Everything in me is repulsed by it— it makes me sick.
Yet, more often than not I wonder if we are really more like the crowds chasing Jesus around. The people who have experienced God's provision and then demand more.
He had healed many people, and now everyone who had something >wrong was pushing and shoving to get near and touch him.
God is not a vending machine that we can drop a quarter into and get something in return. It's just not how things work. No, God relates to us. God engages with us. God is calling and drawing us in deeper beyond our wants and desires.
There are times when we will walk through difficult things. It's parf of living in this imperfect world amongst imperfect people. There is sickness, mental and physical, there are natural disasters, there are things well out of our control.
Sometimes we have to face the consequences of our decisions.
Sometimes we experience the consequences of other people's decisions.
Sometimes we find immediate healing and relief.
Sometimes we have to learn contentment in the midst of our circumstances.
If you're anything like me when I'm facing the hard stuff I want to know why God doesn't answer my fervent prayer to fix it and fix it now. Then, sometime later I see how the plan worked itself out and see God's hand in it.
As C.S. Lews writes about Aslan in the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,
“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.” “ Ooh” said Susan. “I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall >feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”... “Safe?” said Mr Beaver ...“Who said anything about safe? 'Course he >isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”
I love this picture of Aslan. He isn't safe but he is good. In our home we talk often of God being sovereign and good. We can trust God because God is in control and is good. This helps us find contentment in the midst of circumstances.
No, God is not a vending machine. God works in God's ways on God's own timing. I'm learning to be content with that.
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That Time They Fought
Psalm 102:12-28; 2 Kings 8:1-6; Acts 15:36-41
What do you do when conflict arises? This little passage in Acts 15 is always fascinating to me because it gives us a snapshot of the less than perfect leaders in the early church. It turns out that they were as human and normal as we are. They had disagreements and tempers and personalities. (Side note, I'm thankful that the Bible preserves the imperfections because it helps us know and understand these people were just like us.)
Paul and Barnabas disagreed on taking young Mark along on the journey. So, they parted ways. Their disagreement on this man lead them to breaking off their partnership. This doesn't sound like the kind of thing that the writer of two thirds of the New Testament should do, does it? This was a guy who had visions of the risen Christ. He was a guy who would go on to write, possibly, the greatest passage on love in human history. Yet, here he is unable to continue in relationship with someone who was his mentor and friend over a disagreement.
There's no moral judgment in the passage about the argument. There's just a statement of the facts of the matter.
I think one of the things that comes out of this brief story is that it's OK to agree to disagree. Some times we come to a place where we simply have to say, “We aren't going to see eye to eye and for the greater good we ought to part ways.”
It also brings to mind a conversation that I've a number of times about the nature of forgiveness. I think that when we talk about forgiveness we need to distinguish between forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Forgiveness is a one way street. It's what the offended person does so as to not develop bitterness in their own soul. Reconciliation is a two way street when the two people can be present with one another. This is a two way street where the offender acknowledges their hurtful action and the offended is willing to remain in relationship. Restoration is when the hurt has been moved past and the relationship has been returned to a previous or deeper state.
I imagine that Paul and Barnabas forgave one another. Perhaps in their separating there was even reconciliation in that they were not estranged from one another. We see later in the book of Acts a restoration when Mark joins Paul on the journey.
When we enter into conflict the minimum outcome we hope for is forgiveness from our own point of view. When it comes to reconciliation and restoration, that is something that requires two people to move towards one another. We don't really control the reconciliation and restoration aspect. And sometimes, those are not healthy outcomes (particularly in cases of abuse, restoration is not something that we need to pursue).
This morning I am processing whom I may need to forgive or whom I need to ask forgiveness of.
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You Are Not Dismissed
Psalm 102:12-28; 2 Kings 4:8-17, 32-37; Acts 14:1-7
One of the things that I like about the Psalms is that they make me feel normal.
I don't know about you but when it comes to my experience with the divine it's up and down and left and right. It's a mixed bag to put it simply. There are days when I'm really angry with God. Then there are days where it feels like God is right in front of me and I feel God like never before. There are also days where I'm totally indifferent to God.
Maybe I'm an odd duck (well, I know I'm an odd duck, who in their right mind chooses to be a pastor...)?
Perhaps this isn't your experience at all. It sure is mine.
For a long time I tried to pretend that it wasn't like that. For my adult life I have been a professional Christian. I was a missionary to the college campus and now a pastor. I am supposed to have a dynamic relationship with God. One that is constantly on the upswing and never dips. That simply isn't true.
Over the years, I have learned that being honest about relationship with God has become the most important thing in having a relationship with God. It is amazing as I share struggles with others that they too have them and we are able to find encouragement from one another. When I pretend or lie about my relationship with God I inevitably isolate myself. During these seasons of isolation it can feel like I'm in a hole that I can't dig out of.
Thankfully, I have found myself in a community of people who love me without condition. I can share all of myself with them and as a result, I find that my relationship with God is more honest and real.
I resonated with verse 17 in Psalm 102,
“When he attends to the prayer of the wretched. He won’t dismiss their prayer.”
When I feel wretched, God won't dismiss me. When you feel wretched, God won't dismiss you either.
How amazing is that?
When we are at our most unloveable God still embraces us. Why? Because God is compassionate and loving and merciful and gracious.
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February 2, 2024
Psalm 147:1-11, 20c; Job 36:1-23; 1 Corinthians 9:1-16
Our decision all along has been to put up with anything rather than >to get in the way or detract from the Message of Christ. 1 Corinthians >9:12b, The Message
I love and hate this line from Paul.
In this chapter he's writing about his rights as an apostle. He is reminding the Corinthians that it's OK for him to be supported by the people of and to make a living as a minister of the gospel.
But, he has chosen not to exert those rights.
Why?
Because they can get in the way of the message of Christ.
Imagine, not using a right that is yours because it might detract from the message of Christ.
Am I willing to do such a thing? What are the rights that I demand that hinder the message of Christ?
So much to wrestle with.
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February 1, 2024
Psalm 147:1-11, 20c; Proverbs 12:10-21; Galatians 5:2-15
I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you >attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from >Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying >relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion >nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far >more interior: faith expressed in love. – Galatians 5:4-6, The Message
How often do I seek to live by my own religious plans and projects?
All. The. Time.
I remember when I first began learning about the depths of grace in books like The Ragamuffin Gospel, What's So Amazing About Grace, and Putting Amazing Back Into Grace. It was like someone took the blinders off me. All of a sudden there was this overwhelming sense of freedom that I never knew existed in my faith life.
But, then something happened.
I became legalistic about freedom.
As Paul might have said, I stopped practicing conscientious religion for a disregard of religion.
My freedom had become license.
Both legalism and license are missing the mark.
Grace frees us to live a life of faith expressed in love.
What a remarkable idea to consider.
My life is too often not one of faith expressed in love. It is often faith expressed in rules, expectations, demands, or control. Too many times everything boils down to a simple recipe of “do this” and “don't do that.”
But Grace calls me deeper. It calls me to a place of love. Love means that I'm free to serve, to be present, to listen, to simply be.
Grace-Love it's not easy to put your arms around. You have to just do it, live it, practice it. And oh does it take practice!
The further into living a life of Grace-Love the more you find yourself in situations that you can't control. So, the temptation is ever present to grasp control back. I have to keep learning that the call, the deep call of Grace-Love is that of letting go.
It's neither license nor legalism. It something far deeper, indeed, a faith expressed in love.
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January 31, 2024
Psalm 35:1-10; Jeremiah 29:1-14; Mark 5:1-20
One of my favorite movies is Garden State. There is a marvelous scene where the two main characters are sitting in a pool and they are talking about, “home” and “family.”
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house >you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you >have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens >one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel >homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, >you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of >home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle >or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all >family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
What resonates with me this morning is that line about how “home” is an idea that you create for yourself.
As I was reading these passages this morning this movie scene immediately popped into my head. In Jeremiah he's sending a letter to the people in exile and telling them create for themselves homes in Babylon. In Mark Jesus sends the healed demoniac back to his home country. Home is a theme that for whatever just jumped out of the text to me.
Home is not something that just happens. We cultivate it. We create it. Home can be anywhere! I'm watching my children create a sense of home at their respective universities. Sure, they love coming to my home for a visit, but there is a restlessness that is ever present because this house is no longer home for them.
I think there is something innate in us all to create a home. It's a reflection of the Divine. The first stories humanity told were about the Divine making a home for us. Now we reflect that every day.
In some sense we all find ourselves in exile. We await the eternal home. But until then, perhaps we would be wise to remember the letter of Jeremiah...
This is the Message from GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies, Israel’s God, to all the exiles >I’ve taken from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and make yourselves at home. “Put in gardens and eat what grows in that country. “Marry and have children. Encourage your children to marry and have children so >that you’ll thrive in that country and not waste away. “Make yourselves at home there and work for the country’s welfare. “Pray for Babylon’s well-being. If things go well for Babylon, things will go well for >you.”
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January 30, 2024
Psalm 35:1-10; Numbers 22:22-28; 1 Corinthians 7:32-40
One of the things that I really like doing is spending time reading in The Message. The reason for this is that it often opens my eyes to familiar passages in different ways. It gets me to think about them differently. I really need this because I have spent so much time thinking about the Scriptures from a theological angle that to have my normal perceptions jarred is so helpful.
Today's reading, for instance, 1 Corinthians 7:32-40 is all about Paul's teaching on singleness and celibacy. This passage has always lead me into a million questions about marriage, singleness, etc...
Reading today in The Message, there was this translation of verse 32:
I want you to live as free of complications as possible.
It jolted me.
I stared at the line and it dawned on me that perhaps Paul's heart in this section was just that, he was calling people to consider how live lives that are free of complications so as to limit the things that demand our attention.
Could it be that that is the principle here? Is it possible that is the core of what Paul is talking about and using marriage as an illustration, while also sharing his opinion?
I think it might be.
So this then leads me to what I'm thinking about today, “What are the complications in my life that are taking away my attention from what matters most?”
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January 29, 2024
Psalm 35:1-10 // Numbers 22:1-21 // Acts 21:17-26
But let me run loose and free, celebrating GOD’s great work, Every bone in my body laughing, singing, “GOD, there’s no one like you. You put the down-and-out on their feet and protect the unprotected from bullies!”
This morning as I was processing these passages it struck me that what I want is so often very shallow, very lame, and so much less than what God would have for me.
The stories told in Numbers and Acts each in their own ways point to the reality that there is more to what God is doing than what I often see. I get focused on immediate circumstances so easily. I lose the forest for the trees.
God, typically, has something so much more for me than what I think I want in the immediate moment.
I am reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses.
Oh that I would pursue the infinite joy that is offered me!
And yet, where is that infinite joy put on display? It is put on display when when God puts the “down-and-out on their feet and protect(s) the unprotected from bullies!”
This is where I will find the infinite joy! When I get involved with what God is doing in the world then I will move beyond my weak and desires to those things that are much stronger.
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January 16, 2024
Psalm 86; 1 Samuel 15:10-31; Acts 5:1-11
Do you think all GOD wants are sacrifices— empty rituals just for show? He wants you to listen to him! Plain listening is the thing, not staging a lavish religious production.
“The ends justify the means.”
Right?
If the result is good then how we go about bringing that result doesn't matter, right? RIGHT!?
Not even close.
If we claim to be on the way of Christ then the means, the how, is more important than the ends.
That passage about Saul from 1 Samuel 15 is almost a parable for our time. So many followers of Jesus are willing to sell their souls for their political ends. If we are honest with ourselves many of us read that story about Saul and think, “What's the big deal? He won. That's mattered.” Yet, in the economy of God that isn't what matters. What matters is the way you do the things that you are doing. Living in the way is all that matters.
Why?
Why does the way matter more than the end?
Because God is sovereign and good. We are able to trust that this sovereign and good God will bring about the ends that God wants. Because of this we enter into the way realizing that the ends are not the goal but the journey.
What I'm wrestling with today, “Am I embracing the journey or am I simply pursuing an end?”
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January 8, 2023
Psalm 69:1-5, 30-36; Genesis 17:1-18; Romans 4:1-12
What does Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”
Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?”
The juxtaposition of Genesis 17 against Romans 4 (which is a discussion of Genesis 15) is remarkable.
Paul holds up Abraham in his letter to the Romans as a paragon of faith. Yet, as we read in Genesis 17 this faith of Abraham's was one that was rife with doubt. Abraham was no fool. He understood what was happening in the promises being offered him from the Divine. A 90 year old couldn't possibly have a child. So Abraham says this, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” (Genesis 17:18)
The father of the faith was one who doubted.
The one whose belief was credited to him as righteousness didn't quite believe.
I mean, it's amazing isn't it? It's not like Abraham offered a plan to go adopt a child. No, Abraham was hoping that his (by our standards) illegitimate son by his wife's servant (slave and likely could not have said no to the demand to be impregnated by Abraham) could receive the blessing offered by God. This is all an absolute mess. Yet, Paul lifts this man up as the father of the faith and God says his faith is credited to him as righteousness.
There is nothing clean or perfect or easy about faith.
Faith is hard. Faith is ugly. Faith is doubt. Faith is failing. Faith is painful. Faith is grace. Faith is mercy. Faith is love.
Faith is a bare knuckled brawl to hold on to hope in the face of an apparent reality that doesn't make sense.
The faith that we see in the Scripture is not something that comes from ourselves. It is a faith that is really and truly wrapped up in the faithfulness of the Divine.
In the end, it is the faithfulness of the Divine that brings about all the good in the story. Both for Abraham and for us.
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January 5, 2024
Psalm 110; Proverbs 22:1-9; Luke 6:27-31
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Whoever sows injustice reaps calamity, and the rod they wield in fury will be broken.
It is fascinating to me that these two readings are side by side. I was pondering on the second from Proverbs 22:8 and wondering, “how does the rod of injustice get broken?” Then BOOM, Luke 6:27-28, love.
This then leads to the question that I am confronted with:
Am I listening?
Perhaps the better question is, “am I hearing?“
I think of the scene from the film White Men Can't Jump where they are riding in the car talking about listening to Jimi Hendrix as opposed to hearing Jimi. Wesley Snipes character is emphatic that you are supposed to “hear” not “listen” to Jimi. Later in pivotal point of change for Woody Harrelson's character Snipes says, “Now you hear Jimi.”
We think we need to listen to Jesus, but the reality is that we need to hear him. There is something deeper that happens when we are heard as opposed to listened to.
I think the difference is that hearing leads to a response.
To love the way Jesus calls me to love in Luke 6 is something that I can give lip service to if I am listening. But, if I am hearing then it demands a response. The way of Jesus is radical.
I am wrestling today with, “Am I hearing?”
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January 4, 2023
Psalm 110; Proverbs 3:1-12; James 4:11-17
My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
I know that it's not cool to talk about “discipline.” Yet, I was really struck by the passage this morning from Proverbs. I mean, honestly, all the passages were punches in the gut today. But, this little verse really stood out.
It seems like we are living in a time where the idea of being disciplined by God is somehow counter God's divine love. Yet, when I think about my children and being a good dad, my disciplining of them was just as important as my grace toward them. It is in discipline that we grow. Just like a plant needs to be pruned to reach its full potential, so do we need discipline at times to reach ours.
Too often we think of God's discipline as some sort of fire and brimstone laden with wrath. But, the writer of Proverbs describes the LORD as a father who delights in his son. I delight in both my son and daughter. My discipline of them was rarely one fueled by anger. It was typically fueled by a desire to see them become the kind of people that I knew they could be.
If I, an imperfect earthly dad, can discipline in love for the good of my children, how much more so would the Divine?
God's discipline is not something that I need to run from. But, something that I can look toward as loving and compassionate so that I can become the best version of myself. It is the very renewal of the image of God in me.
What are your thoughts about the discipline of God?
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December 14, 2023
Philippians 3:7-11
Advent, Day 12
“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
I love this passage. It's one my favorite passages in all the Scriptures. It is one of those that just resonate deeply within my soul.
I remember hearing this passage preached by Sinclair Ferguson at Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, MO. I will never forget his Scottish brogue booming out verse 11.
This desire to know Christ has become the driving force of my life. More than anything I want to truly know Christ. This knowledge that moves beyond facts and figures. I want to have an experiential knowledge of Christ.
The problem with this is that it means I have to experience a tension that never ends.
This tension of resurrection life and suffering.
Too often we want to believe that if we are walking closely with Christ then life will be easy and good. The fact of the matter is that as we know Christ we are going further up and further in to experiential relationship with him. This means experiencing resurrection life and suffering. The tension of the two is the means by which know Christ intimately.
During Advent we are reminded that in the midst of the suffering there is a longing for the resurrection life that will ultimately win out. So, we look toward his second Advent. The Advent of all things being made new and all suffering ceased.
Today I'm wrestling with, “Am I embracing the tension of resurrection life and suffering or am I just trying to avoid suffering?”
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December 12, 2023
Isaiah 4:2-6
Advent, Day 10
“Then the Lord will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over everything the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.”
I've never thought about the glory of God being a shelter and a refuge.
This ties in a bit with yesterday's passage about knowing who God is and that providing confidence, I think.
The storms of life will come. That's a given. Nobody gets through this life unscathed. All of us are going to face pain, heartbreak, and grief. The question is what will we do when that pain, heartbreak, and grief become present in our lives?
We can fight. We can flee. We can freeze.
Or so the contemporary wisdom goes.
But, what if there was something else that we could do? What if we could rest? What if we could find rest in the knowledge that the glory of God offers refuge and shelter in the storm?
I typically fight when hard stuff comes. Anger is my default emotional response. I don't get sad, I don't get scared, I get angry.
Over the last few years though I have been learning from watching my friend die that there's a different path. There is this path of rest. This way of yielding to Divine love and in so doing grieve and also find joy. It's a tension of the already but not yet that gets played out in real time.
Today I'm wrestling with the question, “Can I choose to rest in the glorious divine love in the face of grief and pain?”
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December 11, 2023
Psalm 27
Advent, Day 9
”...even then I will be confident.”
Psalm 27 was one of the readings today and it has this little line, “even the I will be confident.”
I am thinking a lot about what it means to be confident right now for a series of talks that I will be giving in March, so of course this popped off the page.
The Psalm opens with a declaration of the identity of who God is for the psalmist. God is described as the light, salvation, and stronghold. Because of this the psalmist declares that they have no fear.
How little fear does the psalmist have?
“Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.”
I can't imagine what it would be like to have an army besiege me or war break out against me, but I'm pretty sure that I'd experience deep fear. If these bad things would befall me, would I still have confidence?
It turns out that confidence in this situation is rooted in the sure knowledge of the identity of the Divine. The psalmist doesn't wonder or doubt who the Divine is. There is no question in the psalmist's mind that the Divine offers light, salvation, and is a stronghold.
Having a sure sense of who God is what provides a foundation that offers confidence, even in the midst of great distress.
Today, I'm pondering: “Do I have a deep awareness of the grace, mercy, and lovingkindness of God so that when I face the storms of life I will have confidence?”
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December 7, 2023
Hosea 6:1-6
Advent, Day 5
“Your love is like the morning mist, like the early dew that disappears.”
This is one of those passages that grabs me consistently in so many different ways. I read it and sit, almost stunned by its beauty and its challenge to my soul.
This morning the line quoted above was like a 2x4 between the eyes.
How often is this true of me regarding God?
Whenever I don't get my way with God my love grows cold so quickly. Whenever I experience any disappointment with my wants and desires my love dissipates.
“Whenever” happens more than I'd like to admit.
I am sure glad that Amy's love for me is not like my love for God.
What's wild to me is that God has an amazing track record in my life. When things really matter, God has made God's presence felt in my life. God in God's grace has helped me gain perspective sooner rather than later in those seasons of significant pain.
God's love for me has been enduring. God's love for me has proven faithful.
Yet, my love for God is like the morning mist.
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December 6, 2023
Luke 21:34-38
Advent, Day 4
““Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.”
I've been meditating on today's passage for a few hours now and something has clicked in my heart as I have pondered on it.
A number of years ago God broke me of my legalism about all sorts of things. But, then God needed to break of my legalism about not being legalistic. That was a fun (yeah let's call it that) journey.
What got my mind spinning was the connection between carousing, drunkenness, and the anxieties of life. I can see how carousing and drunkenness aren't good things and are choices that I make. But, the “anxieties of life?” I felt like I was in a segment from Sesame Street's “one of these things is not like the other.” How could Jesus compare the first two to the third?
Well, it finally clicked when my mind was able to connect Jesus' prescription for the problems he listed. Namely, “watch and pray.”
Carousing is defined as, “the activity of drinking alcohol and enjoying oneself with others in a noisy, lively way.” Drunkenness is drinking alcohol to excess. Anxiety is, “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.”
Jesus prescribes us to watch and pray otherwise our hearts are weighed down by these things.
Enjoying time with friends and enjoying alcohol are not bad in and of themselves. It's when we take them to a place of excess that they become problematic. Planning for the future and counting the costs for tomorrow aren't bad things until they are taken to a place of excess.
Alcohol has not been an issue for me in my life. My drug of choice is food. Food is where I find control and seek emotional solace.
If Jesus were specifically speaking to me he would say that I need to be careful otherwise my heart will get weighed down with gluttony and the anxieties of life.
In this season of Advent we are in this time of waiting that begins in the darkness. When the world is dark we begin to feel out of control. So, we start grabbing for anything that makes us feel like we have control again. Food, drink, anxiety. If we are not careful these things will weigh our hearts down. We will find ourselves in a very real sense, out of our minds.
So, we watch and pray.
Isn't it interesting, there's not a single mention here of reading the Scriptures or meditating on God's word. No, the call is to watch and pray. That is, we are to seek to enter into the presence of the Divine through prayer.
I think Jesus calls us to this because if we can acknowledge that we are not God and if we can acknowledge that we can trust God to be in control, then we will find freedom from the anxieties of this life. We can enjoy a good meal without becoming gluttonous. We can enjoy a good party with friends without it becoming carousing.
When we have found peace, that wholeness of self and rest in God, then we will find freedom.
This is the hope of Advent.
It is a hope of freedom to joy rooted in the God that cares for all things.
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December 5, 2023
Micah 4:6-13
Advent, Day 3
In that day,” declares the LORD, “I will gather the lame; I will assemble the exiles and those I have brought to grief. I will make the lame my remnant, those driven away a strong nation.”
This verse is fascinating to me.
Honestly, it challenges me and at the same time encourages me.
I am astounded by the God that self-identifies as the one who brought people to grief. There's no running from it. Through Micah's voice the God of the universe owns that fact that God has brought people to grief.
What do we do that?
How do we respond to it?
Let's be clear, this prophet is writing to a people in exile. A people that was indeed being judged by the divine. So, perhaps my (and maybe your) immediate response needs to be a bit tempered. The grief here is due to the experience of exile and judgement.
OK, fair enough.
Yet, the focus here is not on the judgement. But, it is on the other aspect of this, namely, that God will gather, assemble, and make strong.
In the midst of grief and exile God is at work doing something that will undo all of it.
This gives me hope.
I don't know about you, but when life gets messy I wonder, “where is God?” It turns out that God is working in the background and that I can hope that there will be a great undoing. If God does this for those whom were disobedient and under judgement, how much more so will God do this for those this side of the resurrection?
As I read and ponder these words and thinking about what the prophets said about exile and the remnant, I realize more and more how the message of resurrection and reconciliation in Christ carried such power.
Advent allows us to enter into the waiting through holy imagination that those before us lived through. They lived through the hope of the coming of the undoing. We get to experience the undoing every day.
Today I'm thinking about, “Will I recognize the undoing of grief all around me?”
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December 4, 2023
Micah 4:1-5
Advent, Day 2
They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.
As we fully enter into the Advent season, I am looking forward to reading and meditating on the prophets. Each year most of the readings come from them during this season.
Advent is a time of preparation and fasting and waiting and hoping.
As I read Micah 4:1-5 today there was all kinds of good stuff in just a brief passage. But, the second half of verse three resonated deeply with me.
I don't know about you, but my heart is breaking because of the war and violence that seems to be everywhere. Israel and Hamas, Russia and Ukraine, the genocide of the Uighurs in China, the ongoing violence in Haiti, the never-ending wars on the continent of Africa, not to mention the violence that leads news broadcasts locally every day.
Of war and violence there seems to be no end.
All would seem hopeless if I didn't have the hopeful promise of a day coming when, “They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.”
What is fascinating to me is the beginning of verse three, “He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes for strong nations far and wide.” This is not a pie in the sky kind of hope. This is a rugged and real hope. The days of peace will not be without disputes. It's just that the day I long for will have the disputes settled without violence because the Lord will settle them.
Oh how I long for this day!
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December 1, 2023
Psalm 80:1-19
“Restore us, LORD God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.”
This repeated line in Psalm 80 rings out to me today.
This psalm opens by crying out for help and as the cry continues there seems to be a recognition that the people deserved a rebuke from God. The first time this line is uttered it is in reference to a perceived persecution but then the second time it is in light of the recognition of rebuke.
We live in a day and age where Christians, especially Evangelical Christians, feel like they are being persecuted. From much of my reading about culture and politics this feeling of persecution is what lead the majority of my brothers and sisters in Christ to support Donal Trump for the presidency. They are afraid and they want a strong man to protect them. As I look around I don't see any persecution. I see loads of persecution complexes but no real persecution.
I think what we are seeing is that many of us are confusing persecution with rebuke.
As I look on my own life, any time that someone calls me out for my failing to love well I initially receive it as persecution. It is often not until I have had time to reflect that it was a good an proper rebuke and I can confess, concur, and change.
On the whole, the American Christian church appears to be in the midst of a season of rebuke and we sure don't like it.
We have failed to love well.
I have failed to love well.
Today I'm wrestling with, “How can I grow in receiving rebuke not as persecution but as an opportunity to grow in love?”
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November 27, 2023
2 Timothy 2:19-26
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.”
Do you know how to get something to go “viral” on the internet? Make a foolish and stupid argument.
It's easy. I've had a few.
Do you know what happens after a time though? Your soul begins to wither. You become cynical and jaded. Your heart hardens. Happiness is found in other people's distress and anger.
It's gross.
Over the last number of years I've begun to intentionally avoid such things on the internet. I will have hard conversations in person. Because when we sit face to face we can't forget that the other person in made in God's likeness. But, even then, I am constantly on guard about whether or not the conversation is beneficial or if it's just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Particularly, this is true about sports and politics.
It's becoming more true of just about anything.
I want to be a person that discusses difficult things. I want to be a person who speaks up against injustice. I want to be a person that speaks for the truth.
I do not want to be involved in foolish and stupid arguments.
The latter demands that I listen and be fully present in the hard conversations. It requires me to hear what the other person is saying and noticing when the discussion has jumped the shark.
Today, I'm wrestling with this, “Am I fully present in the midst of difficult conversations or am I only concerned with winning an argument?”
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November 20, 2023
Romans 2:1-11 (The Message)
“Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn’t so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you’ve done.”
Do you ever read the Bible and think, “Well, that bit was written just for me!”?
That happened this morning. As I ponder on this passage I am reminded of that old saying, “When you point the finger that someone, there's three pointing back at you!”
Over the last week I have a multiple conversations with people about this idea of taking the log out of our own eye before trying to remove the speck from our neighbor's eye. It is amazing to me that I continue to have to wrestle with this in my own life. You would think that after kindergarten I'd have figured it out.
But, no.
Here I am still a judgemental jerk on so many levels.
I experience happiness when “those” people get it. I make excuses my people blow it.
What is it with me and this desire to judge others?
Well, this passage reminds me that it means there are likely issues in my own life that I'm seeking to distract myself and God from. Once again I find myself needing to do ever greater introspection to be sure that I'm seeking to love well.
I think I'm coming to learn that growing in my faith is like becoming stronger in the gym. As you get stronger you have increase the weight that you lift so that you can continue to grow stronger. As I go deeper into my faith I have to go deeper still into seeing the shadows of my own life to bring light to them.
Just because the shadow isn't as long as it used to be doesn't mean it's not there. I am learning that I can notice it most clearly as I judge others. That's the flashing light that says, “Hey bub, you to shine the light over here and deal with this!”
Today I am pondering, “Do I think that I can distract God from my shortfalls by pointing out the falling short of others?”
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When Religion Goes Bad
God-washed power pollutes everything it touches but there is hope
Over the last year I've read three books that have caused me significant pause.
The first was, A Church Called Tov by Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer. The second was, Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez. The third was, The Flag and the Cross by Phillip Gorski and Samuel Perry.
All three of these books evaluate the state of the American Evangelical church from slightly different perspectives. A Church Called Tov offers a prescription and hope for how to be a church that is good. Jesus and John Wayne looks at the historical development for how the American Evangelical church became the church that we see all around us. The Flag and the Cross is a data driven book that takes a look at White Christian Nationalism.
These three books have helped me answer the question, “Why?”
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Why are we in the situation that we are in? What has happened to the American church? How did we get to a place where the many people are more aligned to political agendas than they are to the cause of Christ? Why are we seeing so many pastors falling morally? Why are so many people waking up to realize that they have been abused spiritually by the men and women that they have entrusted their souls to?
Why?
While all three of these have slightly different angles, I think they are all wrestling with the same fundamental question. How does religion deal with having power? Specifically how does Christianity handle power? Even more specifically, what happens when Evangelicalism ascends to a place of significant cultural and political power?
I would encourage you to read the books, They are accessible and have been helpful.
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As I have pondered what these authors have written I have come to realize that there is a significant rot in the heart of American Evangelical Christianity.
Christianity has always thrived when it was not in power. It is a faith that was formed in the crucible of persecution. As power has shifted to the West, Christianity came with it. Over the last 150 years or so we have seen Christianity come to the fore as a power in and of itself.
One would hope that a faith that is rooted in self-sacrifical love, love of neighbor, and love of enemy would handle power well.
Sadly, we have failed the test.
We have failed the test corporately and we have failed individually as well.
What I am seeing all around me is the reality that power corrupts and God-washed power corrupts infinitely more.
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C.S. Lewis wrote in his Reflections on the Psalms, “If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. Of all created beings the wickedest is one who originally stood in the immediate presence of God.”
Christianity has been gutted from the inside out. In much of American Christianity there is little spiritual formation or moral formation. It is all about “getting people saved.”
“Pray this prayer and get saved.”
The desire to sell eternal fire insurance has created a culture that is a mile wide and an inch deep. We are reaping now what we have sown over the last seventy years or so.
Christianity is now a token to trade for positions of power. It is no longer a life transforming faith.
In those first decades of the Christian faith it was known as, “The Way.” There was a lived aspect to Christianity. The expectation was that following in the way of Jesus was of utter importance.
Today? Today we simply disregard the teachings and ways of Jesus if they get in our way of power.
We have seen the rise to power of the “religious bad men.”
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Is there any hope?
I think so.
If we can first acknowledge the reality that many of us hunger and thirst for power more than we do righteousness, that would be a good start. We need to own up to the fact that the grievances that many have toward the institution of the church are real and true.
We need to learn again the importance of spiritual formation for the one who is seeking to follow Jesus.
There must be a re-ordering of our lives. The way of Jesus must be first. This is what Jesus meant when he said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)” Jesus is arguing for a re-orienting of our lives.
Jesus' way is ultimately self-sacrificial rooted in love. When Jesus was offered power he said, “No.”
In the letter to the Philippians, Paul of Tarsus challenged the church there to relate to one another in light of the way of Christ. He wrote of Christ,
“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!”
There is hope. It is rooted not in the pursuit of power but in the pursuit of sharing the mind of Christ.
I desperately want this to be true of me. I so badly want to be a person for who is living the way of Jesus rooted in self-sacrificial love.
I can not change the world. I can change me and I can model this way for those whom have trusted themselves to my spiritual care.
It is high time for the rise of the religious good people.
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