Daniel Rose: The Pastor Next Door

“That’s not fair!”

“You’re cheating!”

How often have parents heard these declarations from their children? There’s an innate human drive toward fairness.

It’s a universally good feeling to be forgiven. We’ve all been there: that pit-in-your-stomach dread after you’ve messed up, the fear that a relationship might be over. But then you take that deep breath, make the call, own your mistake, and ask, “Will you please forgive me?” The moment hangs in the air, seemingly forever, until that sweet release: “Of course, I forgive you.” What an unbelievable feeling!

But here’s the flip side: How many of us genuinely like to forgive? Not many. We love to be forgiven, but we don’t necessarily like to give forgiveness. This often comes up in conversations among Christians, where the immediate reaction is, “If we just forgive people, we’ll become doormats!” Or, “Where’s the justice in that? These people wronged us; they need to be held accountable!” We invent all sorts of reasons to avoid forgiving, clinging to our grudges, even as we crave the grace of being forgiven ourselves.